ZombieHazard

Alpha Instinct (Moon Shifter #1)

2012-03-17T04:07:00.000-07:00


	Fear has a scent. So does desire… Ana Cordona has been a strong leader for the lupine shifters who survived after all the males and most of the females in her pack were mysteriously poisoned. As tough as she is, with no Alpha male, the pack is vulnerable to the devious shifter Taggart, who wants to claim both their ranch and Ana as his own. When Connor Armstrong comes back into her life, promising protection, it’s almost enough to make Ana forget how he walked out on her before—and reluctantly accept his offer to mate. The minute Connor sees Ana again, it reawakens a raw hunger. He must have her for his bondmate—his wolf cries out for it. But his human side knows he must proceed with caution because of their complicated past. If he is to truly have her body and soul, he must go beyond his burning desire and win back her heart. Whatever it takes, he is determined not to leave her side again. But Taggart and his rival pack are not their only enemies. A human element in town is targeting shifters. Their plan not only threatens Ana and Connor’s future, but the lives of the entire pack…
	Alpha Instinct by Katie Reus My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Alpha Instinct has all the elements that make up a typical urban fantasy novel:

1. An Alpha hero and an alpha heroine as main characters (which basically means that both are strong-willed, stubborn creatures, with the only difference in their rank being that the heroine decides the course of action and the hero executes it).
2. The main couple have been together in the past, but one of them broke it off due to unspecified reasons. Of course, ten years down the lane, their paths cross and they're still as passionately in love as they were a decade back.
3. If the UF novel in question is on Shifters, there's an 85% chance that the plot will revolve around random killings of said creatures, perpetrated by none other than the evil villain that wants to marry the alpha heroine.
4. A Claiming, Mating, or Imprinting, of some sort between the H&h near the beginning of the book that removes all doubts about their compatibility because nature works in mysterious yet wise ways.
5. Either of the protagonists having a near-death experience towards the end which results in both of them getting over all their issues and concerns and living HEA.

That said, Alpha Instinct is still an immensely entertaining and fun read for hard-core paranormal fans. But if, like me, you're beginning to tire of reading the same story with a few alterations over and over every time you pick up a new UF series to read, I doubt you'll enjoy this.

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Wicked Intentions (Maiden Lane #1)

2012-03-14T06:56:00.000-07:00

A MAN CONTROLLED BY HIS DESIRES . . .

Infamous for his wild, sensual needs, Lazarus Huntington, Lord Caire, is searching for a savage killer in St. Giles, London's most notorious slum. Widowed Temperance Dews knows St. Giles like the back of her hand-she's spent a lifetime caring for its inhabitants at the foundling home her family established. Now that home is at risk . . .

A WOMAN HAUNTED BY HER PAST . . .

Caire makes a simple offer-in return for Temperance's help navigating the perilous alleys of St. Giles, he will introduce her to London's high society so that she can find a benefactor for the home. But Temperance may not be the innocent she seems, and what begins as cold calculation soon falls prey to a passion that neither can control-one that may well destroy them both.

A BARGAIN NEITHER COULD REFUSE

Wicked Intentions by Elizabeth Hoyt
My rating: 2.5 of 5 stars

*Insert title here* is quite different from the typical historical romance, without a TSTL heroine nor a reformed rake for a hero. Best of all, the writing is exceptionally engaging and descriptive without seeming overdone or tedious at all.

I thought Wicked Intentions would finally give me the chance to start my review with that opening. Disappointingly, Wicked Intentions is dreadfully boring, unoriginal, predictable, and entirely forgettable. And don't get me started on the names. Seriously. I'll never stop.

I'll still continue with the series, however. I'm fairly interested in the rest of the siblings, and Winter in particular. I'll save these books for a perfect spring day, when I'm feeling more forgiving and less crabby.

2.5/5 stars

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Call Me Irresistible (Wynette, Texas #6)

2012-03-14T05:18:00.000-07:00

R.S.V.P. to the most riotous wedding of the year . . .

Lucy Jorik is the daughter of a former president of the United States.
Meg Koranda is the offspring of legends.

One of them is about to marry Mr. Irresistible—Ted Beaudine—the favorite son of Wynette, Texas. The other is not happy about it and is determined to save her friend from a mess of heartache.

But even though Meg knows that breaking up her best friend's wedding is the right thing to do, no one else seems to agree. Faster than Lucy can say "I don't," Meg becomes the most hated woman in town—a town she's stuck in with a dead car, an empty wallet, and a very angry bridegroom. Broke, stranded, and without her famous parents at her back, Meg is sure she can survive on her own wits. What's the worst that can happen? Lose her heart to the one and only Mr. Irresistible? Not likely. Not likely at all.

Call Me Irresistible by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Call Me Irresistible will be the best book in the Wynette, Texas series. Ted is amazing, I love him and it will ROCK! It will rock so hard the planet will shake, craters will appear everywhere and swallow all those people who hate this book. Craters will cleanse all the urban areas out there so that more trees will grow and we can have more paper in order to print more Call Me Irresistible books! And we will create a religion that reads this book non-stop. We will explore Mars (more thoroughly, those NASA bitches can’t do anything right) and find the Perfect Human Creator 3000 the aliens forgot to take when they got bored of waiting for good music on MTV. Then using the Perfect Human Creator 3000 we will create a perfect clone of Ted. He will be the next Messiah and will bless us with his wisdom and hotness. Forever!

If I could go back in time and slap my past self over the head for having those expectations regarding Call Me Irresistible I would.

Saying that I’m disappointed by this book would be an understatement. What the hell was this story? Can someone please tell me? What the hell happened to Ted? Nah, let's not call him Ted. New Jesus (a halo?? Really??)? Nah, too good. Mayor Dickhead? Perfect. So what happened to Mayor Dickhead? He was such a cute kid in whatever, the previous books – forgot the names. And now he’s freakin’ Medusa’s blow up doll. Hard-headed, heartless and boring as hell.

Did I mention that he’s a total asshole to Meg? Let me quote the dear ass:

He pointed one long finger in the general direction of her head. “You’d better be ready at seven on Friday night because that’s when I’m picking you up. And don’t expect to see me before then because I have business in Santa Fe. And I’m not calling, either. I have more important things to do than argue with a crazy woman.”

Meg, the only character I respect, gets treated like a stray dog throughout the book by Mayor Dickhead and his town of minions. My message to all you mindless pricks is the following

We also have a reunion in this book. A huge amount of characters from the previous Wynette books are here. And they all are either ignorant, cruel, total bitches or assholes. All those wonderful characters I used to love are gone. Poof! Just like that. One book and all my respect is gone.

Aaand, what else do we have? *scratches her chin* Oh yeah! Golf. Want to know my opinion on golf? I’ll quote my good friend George Carlin on this one.

Plenty of good land in nice neighborhoods, land that is currently being wasted on a meaningless, mindless activity engaged in primarily by white, well-to-do male businessmen who use the game to get together to make deals to carve this country up a little finer among themselves.

It is an arrogant game on its very design alone. Just the design of the game speaks of arrogance. Think of how big a golf course is. The ball is that fucking big! What do these pinheaded pricks need with all that land? There are over 17,000 golf courses in America. They average over 150 acres apiece. That's 3 million plus acres, 4,820 square miles. You could build two Rhode Islands and a Delaware for the homeless, on the land currently being wasted on this meaningless, mindless, arrogant, elitist, racist - there's another thing: the only blacks you'll find in country clubs are carrying trays - and a boring game. Boring game for boring people. Have you ever watched golf on television? It's like watching flies fuck.

And a mindless game, mindless. Think of the intellect it must take to draw pleasure from this activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick, and then walking after it! And then, hitting it again! I say, "Pick it up asshole, you're lucky you found the fucking thing. Put it in your pocket and go the fuck home, you're a winner. You're a winner. You found it!"

‘Nuff said.

Lucy’s story seems like loads of fun. I mean Panda?? Really?? Who the hell goes around calling himself Panda??

Oh wait.

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Hallowed (Unearthly #2)

2012-03-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

For months Clara Gardner trained to face the fire from her visions, but she wasn't prepared for the choice she had to make that day. And in the aftermath, she discovered that nothing about being part angel is as straightforward as she thought.

Now, torn between her love for Tucker and her complicated feelings about the roles she and Christian seem destined to play in a world that is both dangerous and beautiful, Clara struggles with a shocking revelation: Someone she loves will die in a matter of months. With her future uncertain, the only thing Clara knows for sure is that the fire was just the beginning.

In this compelling sequel to "Unearthly," Cynthia Hand captures the joy of first love, the anguish of loss, and the confusion of becoming who you are.

Hallowed by Cynthia Hand
My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

The highly-anticipated sequel to Unearthly , Hallowed is just as great, and in a lot of ways, greater than its predecessor.

Hallowed picks up right where Unearthly left off, soon after Clara and Christian mess up their respective purposes. Clara chose Tucker, and that inevitably has consequences with the Powers That Be. More details on the angel hierarchy and history are given in this one, and the myth lover in me devoured those tidbits.

Clara is still as fantastic and wonderful in Hallowed as she was in Unearthly. She's actually better now, because she's challenged more as a character here. Her role as a best friend, half-angel, sister, and daughter are all put to test and she passes effortlessly. Even as a girlfriend, which I was a little uncertain about because of how Unearthly ended.

Speaking of, the Tucker-Clara-Christian love triangle is one of those rare ones that actually work. It didn't for a while in the middle, but it completely does by the end. This is how love triangles are supposed to be. They're supposed to be more than just about the girl and her harem; they're supposed to actually serve a purpose. I'm so happy with Hand at accomplishing this great feat, I could kiss her. Thanks to her, I've come to the realization that I don't hate love triangles per se; it's just the poorly-developed ones I've been reading recently that suck. If a love triangle is executed well, it does add a great deal of mystery and suspense to the novel.

And I have just one word for the plot: breathtaking. Especially the ending. How will I Clara ever choose between Christian and Tucker?! More importantly, will there even be any of Tucker in the next book? *bites nails*

I'm really, really trying, but the possibility keeps popping up in my head.

And lastly, Clara has the hottest dad ever. Even Tucker pales in comparison, and I don't say that lightly. If this book wasn't so great in itself, I would read the next book for Clara's dad alone.

4.5/5 stars

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Call Me Irresistible (Wynette, Texas #6)

2012-03-13T06:51:00.000-07:00


	R.S.V.P. to the most riotous wedding of the year . . . Lucy Jorik is the daughter of a former president of the United States. Meg Koranda is the offspring of legends. One of them is about to marry Mr. Irresistible—Ted Beaudine—the favorite son of Wynette, Texas. The other is not happy about it and is determined to save her friend from a mess of heartache. But even though Meg knows that breaking up her best friend's wedding is the right thing to do, no one else seems to agree. Faster than Lucy can say "I don't," Meg becomes the most hated woman in town—a town she's stuck in with a dead car, an empty wallet, and a very angry bridegroom. Broke, stranded, and without her famous parents at her back, Meg is sure she can survive on her own wits. What's the worst that can happen? Lose her heart to the one and only Mr. Irresistible? Not likely. Not likely at all.
	Call Me Irresistible by Susan Elizabeth Phillips My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Call Me Irresistible is probably the book I anticipated the most in this entire series as it features characters that have already been introduced rather than new and unfamiliar ones. SEP doesn't deliver this time, however.

I can't begin to express how disappointed I am with Call Me Irresistible , and by extension, SEP. The beginning was so awful, I nearly dropped this book several times. The only thing that kept me going was my loyalty to the author that initially made me fall in love with CR. Had it been anyone else, I would have most definitely dropped this and rated it no more than 1 star.

That feeling persisted for a long while, all the way until the very last 3 chapters. I knew that Ted and Meg would be messed up and annoying, but what completely shocked me was the attitude of Wynette's elite class, and specifically, Francie. Whatever happened to getting to know a person before passing judgment or minding your own business or cutting a poor girl some slack for going though the exact same thing YOU did?! Even the ending didn't redeem Francie and Emma for me.

Ironically, the couple I liked the least previously turned out to be my favorite in Call Me Irresistible. Jake and Fleur from Glitter Baby were completely natural and genuine in their role as a married couple and as Meg's parents, and I have half a mind to go back and change my 3-star rating into 5 stars instead for these two.

Ted and Meg are opposites in every sense of the word and that's what makes them so compatible. He's cold to her hot, level-headed to her reckless, and unemotional to her passionate. Meg starts out as spoiled and careless and ends up being a strong and responsible woman. Ted starts out as little more than a robot and ends up being one of SEP's sweetest heroes.

The last few chapters of Call Me Irresistible nearly makes up for the whole book, they're that great. I find it hard to entirely let go of the betrayal I felt over Francie and Emma's behavior, no matter how well-intentioned their actions, but the ending went a long way in making up for it. If I hadn't had such a hard time with the rest of the book, this might have been my most favorite title of SEP's yet. Hopefully Lucy's story will be better.

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Shades of Blood (Warriors of Ankh #3)

2012-03-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

Eden’s life has taken a turn she would never have imagined. She’s gone from soul eater to warrior, left behind a family she was ashamed of and moved in with one she admires. She has a purpose, a future, and… she has Noah.

Life should be good.

But… the most fervent and powerful soul eaters are determined to take down the Ankh and Eden is the key to the destruction of the warrior race.

Moreover, a shadowed enemy is still after Eden, and the mortal Warriors of Neith have chosen the worst time imaginable to start an uprising.

With an enemy in every corner, the problems before her are overwhelming. Then again, Eden hasn’t come this far to let anyone snatch her new life from her…

However, just when Eden thought she’d battled the monster within and won, the warrior who took something precious from her comes back into her life, tempting Eden to take a course of revenge there is no turning back from.

Vengeance is such a bitch…

… So is Eden when the stakes are high.

Shades of Blood by Samantha Young
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Before I start my review I gotta ask, is this the last book in the series? I mean the ending kind of hinted towards that but I’m still not convinced. Is book 4 coming out or this is it for Eden and Noah?

Personally I’d prefer for it to end. Why? Because I don’t want Warriors of Ankh to end up like Night Huntress. Kat and Bones are one of my most favorite book couples. But their story going on and on with useless details and events makes me like them less with each page that I read. I don’t want Noah and Eden to suffer the same fate, that’s all.

Anyway, what’s there to say about Shades of Blood? It’s definitely my least favorite book in the series. Eden and Noah can’t seem to get their hands off each other’s privates (yes, they have sex), Eden suddenly gets a visit from the big bad P (yes, I mean her period), Noah learns what it’s like to be jealous (no, he doesn’t act like a dick) and Tobe gets to work a bit on Eden’s face ( yes, she punches the hell out of her).

My problem with Shades of Blood is mostly its predictability. I had some moments with the previous books when I’d feel like Sherlock Holmes for cracking some mysteries in the story but in this one it felt boring. Because everything was too transparent.

Or maybe I’m that good.

Anzu: Hey Evilbot!

Evilbot: What now, human?

A: Did you finish reading Shades of Blood?

E: No I didn't. I said nothing of the sort.

A: But you promised that you'll buddy read it with me!

E: Didn't.

A: Yes you did! Now tell me why you didn't read it.

E: I bought food while I was there. They don't let you travel internationally with food.

A: What the hell are you talking about?

E: I'm talking about what we both said yesterday.

A: Whatever. What do you think? Will Noah and Eden get another book?

E: Will will will will will will.

A: Don’t you think it will be boring? I mean they’ve already started to lose their spark.

E: The button and the chair have the true church of Christ?

A: What?

E: Get rich or die trying.

A: Are you serious?

E: Yes. I'm ready to take the next step in this relationship.

A: Do I need to hit you in the head again to make you work properly?

E: Whether you make sense or not, I'll never love you.

A: *facepalm*

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Dragon Actually (The Dragon Kin #1)

2012-03-09T23:34:00.000-08:00


	It's not always easy being a female warrior with a nickname like Annwyl the Bloody. Men tend to either cower in fear-a lot-or else salute. It's true that Annwyl has a knack for decapitating legions of her ruthless brother's soldiers without pausing for breath. But just once it would be nice to be able to really talk to a man, the way she can talk to Fearghus the Destroyer. Too bad that Fearghus is a dragon, of the large, scaly, and deadly type. With him, Annwyl feels safe-a far cry from the feelings aroused by the hard-bodied, arrogant knight Fearghus has arranged to help train her for battle. With her days spent fighting a man who fills her with fierce, heady desire, and her nights spent in the company of a magical creature who could smite a village just by exhaling, Annwyl is sure life couldn't get any stranger. She's wrong. And just wait until you meet the rest of the family? This book has been previously published.
	Dragon Actually by G.A. Aiken My rating: 3 of 5 stars

It's so embarrassingly delightful when a book I've mentally marked as nothing but porn manages to completely stun and amaze me.

Make no mistake, Dragon Actually is mostly fictional porn. But it's also a sweet, funny, and lovable story about a grumpy alpha dragon and his vicious yet vulnerable mate. And since it's been ages since I've made a list-review, allow me to make one now.

Dragon Actually managed to catch me off-guard by:

1. Making me laugh-out-loud (for real) after every other scene, which means I enjoyed this book a lot more than I was anticipating.

2. Giving me an X-rated version of Toothless for my oh-so-innocent daydreams, because it's impossible to imagine this guy doing anything besides eating fish, chasing light, and flying:

3. Ruining all other paranormal creatures for me, because now nothing but a hot dragon prince will do.

4. Creating a heroine with guts, wits, morals, and brains whom I never got annoyed with.

5. Introducing a large yet memorable cast of dragon royalty I can't wait to read more about.

6. Inserting a great short story on the unexpected love between a certain spoiled dragon queen and her scary consort, that I actually liked more than the main romance.

And finally:

7. HOT DRAGON SEX. 'Nuff said.

3.5/5 stars

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Angelfall (Penryn & the End of Days #1)

2012-03-08T22:40:00.000-08:00


	It's been six weeks since angels of the apocalypse descended to demolish the modern world. Street gangs rule the day while fear and superstition rule the night. When warrior angels fly away with a helpless little girl, her seventeen-year-old sister Penryn will do anything to get her back. Anything, including making a deal with an enemy angel. Raffe is a warrior who lies broken and wingless on the street. After eons of fighting his own battles, he finds himself being rescued from a desperate situation by a half-starved teenage girl. Traveling through a dark and twisted Northern California, they have only each other to rely on for survival. Together, they journey toward the angels' stronghold in San Francisco where she'll risk everything to rescue her sister and he'll put himself at the mercy of his greatest enemies for the chance to be made whole again.
	Angelfall by Susan Ee My rating: 4 of 5 stars

You know when you've been underwater for a couple minutes and come up for air and take the longest breath ever, and it feels a little bit like Heaven? That's what reading Angelfall is like.

I always find it extremely hard to explain why something worked for me. It's much easier to explain why something should be thrown in the trash. Still, Angelfall worked brilliantly. I spent all of New Year's Eve reading this book, and it took me 4 hours to fall asleep after that last chapter.

As with nearly all the books I read, my rating is based mostly on the characters. Raffe and Penryn are both extremely unusual and thoroughly wonderful characters. I love how their behavior is consistent with their personality, a rarity in most YA's.

World-building is a crucial part of dystopian novels, and Susan Ee excels in this regard. Penryn's world is brutal, harsh, and raw, where angels are at the top of the ladder and humans at the bottom. Nonetheless, this novel is still far from depressing. Ee has a very dark and dry sense of humor and it shows in unexpected ways throughout the story.

The only reason for the 3.5-4 stars is that I couldn't really bring myself to fall in love with this book. I loved it far more than I have most novels, but it lacked that "obsessed with" factor.

That aside, Angelfall is truly a fantastic novel well-deserving of all the hype. The long wait till the next book is certainly going to be an excruciating one after that cliffhanger ending!

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The Gamble (Colorado Mountain #1)

2012-03-04T23:23:00.000-08:00


	Nina Sheridan’s on a timeout adventure in the Colorado Mountains. She needs distance from her clueless fiancé, distance to decide whether she wants to spend the rest of her life with a man who doesn’t care enough to learn how she takes her coffee. Arriving in a blinding snowstorm at the A-Frame she rented, she comes face to face with the most amazing man she’s ever seen. Minutes later, when he kicks her out of his house, she goes head to head with him. Beyond angry because she’s flown half a world away to start her timeout adventure, not to mention her sinuses hurt, she heads back down the mountain and ends up in a ditch. Unable to extricate herself, she gives up, hopes for rescue and falls asleep in the backseat. The next morning she wakes up in the amazing man’s bed and she’s sick as a dog.
	The Gamble by Kristen Ashley My rating: 4 of 5 stars

One of the sweetest, most heart-warming and memorable books I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I doubt there's any CR reader out there who hasn't heard of the wonder that is Kristen Ashley, so I doubt there's any need for an elaborate review.

And if you seriously haven't heard of her...do your heart a favor and buy a copy of any of her titles. I promise you won't be disappointed.

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The Alchemy of Forever (Incarnation #1)

2012-03-04T02:48:00.000-08:00


	Seraphina has been alive since the 1300's, made immortal when the boy she was beginning to love back then, Cyrus, saved her from death with a strange liquid - a method of alchemy that lets them swap bodies with any human being. But now, in modern day America, Sera has decided that she can no longer bear the weight of stealing people's lives so she can keep living on. So she decides to run away from Cyrus and end her stolen existence once and for all. Her plan goes awry when she accidentally takes the body of a dying teenager and feels forced to take over her life. When the lines between Sera and Kailey's identity begin to blur, Sera finds a reason to desire to live once more. But she can't shake the guilt of having taken Kailey's life, even if she was dying. And what if Cyrus finds her?
	The Alchemy of Forever by Avery Williams My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The scariest thing about Incarnates is that we look just like everyone else.

Another YA with a brilliant premise that doesn't quite deliver, The Alchemy of Forever is bad when it could have easily been epic.

Sera is an immortal (or Incarnate, like they're called in this one) who has to steal other people's souls to take over their bodies as her's dies after about every 10 years. Cyrus is the one who turned her and her love for him died out a long time ago. Sera's decided that her current body will be her last, and she'd rather die than steal another soul. When the time to die comes though, her resolve weakens and she ends up in the body of Kailey Morgan.

All that makes this out to be the next great book since Angelfall or something. Unfortunately, all the awesomeness is simply hinted at, rather than being analyzed and explained. I had a number of issues with this book, made all the more irritating because of how effortlessly they could have been amended, had the author chosen to make this just a slightly longer book.

Even after reading The Alchemy of Forever, I still don't know anything about Sera's character that I didn't gather from the synopsis. This book is so annoyingly brief and abrupt, we don't get the chance to look at anything extensively. Not at the true origin of the Incarnates, not at Cyrus, not at Sera, and certainly not at Noah and Kailey.

Basically, we never get the chance to truly get to know the characters. Ergo, I didn't feel a thing for any of them, so even when The Shocking Thing at the end occurred, I was only mildly curious about what would happen next. Sure, I'd like to know what really went down that night, but I won't have any nightmares if I never find out. If only the author had taken a few chapters to get us better acquainted with Sera and who she is by herself, when she's not imitating the life she's taken, the book would have been a million times better and I wouldn't be so indifferent to her fate.

Williams also skimmed over scenes I would have really liked to read. The readers's simply told they happened and we're left to fill in the blanks. How does the relationship between Noah and Sera, Leyla and Sera, everyone and Sera develop? They don't notice anything odd in her behavior? Do they like Sera or is it just Kailey they're seeing in her? Sera goes from being suicidal to lively and from being ready to flee to loving her new life in seconds, and the sudden development isn't portrayed or conveyed that well at all.

Overall, The Alchemy of Forever represents an interesting and new concept, but that potential is never truly explored. I look forward to finding out what happens next, but this one most definitely did not leave an impact.

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Delirium (Delirium #1)

2012-03-03T23:53:00.000-08:00


	Before scientists found the cure, people thought love was a good thing. They didn’t understand that once love -- the deliria -- blooms in your blood, there is no escaping its hold. Things are different now. Scientists are able to eradicate love, and the government demands that all citizens receive the cure upon turning eighteen. Lena Holoway has always looked forward to the day when she’ll be cured. A life without love is a life without pain: safe, measured, predictable, and happy. But with ninety-five days left until her treatment, Lena does the unthinkable: She falls in love.
	Delirium by Lauren Oliver My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

So a day before the release of Pandemonium, I finally get around to reading Delirium. And after that devastating ending, my relief knows no bounds.

I don't know how you all survived the past year without raiding Oliver's home and/or holding her publisher at gunpoint for an ARC, but I'm so glad I don't have to prove my non-existent patience with this one, because frankly, I about died reading that last chapter.

Honestly, I hated Lena for most of the book. She's so damn weak and I couldn't help but think that Hana would have been a much better heroine. I still partially feel that way, because Lena's character doesn't really fit in with the whole rebellion scenario, but I guess that's the entire point. I really do hope Lena grows a backbone in Pandemonium though, one on her own, without the help of Alex and Hana.

And Alex...I like to think of him as an alternate version of Kent from Before I Fall. I loved the latter so so much, but there wasn't enough of him in BIF, so I liked pretending Alex was actually Kent in spirit. I'm deluded, I know.

And like I felt with Lena, I didn't geniunely like Alex. He's great as far as heroes go, but a little too perfect. I would have continued like that for the rest of the series, I believe, had the ending not happened the way it did. But since it did happen that way, it made me view the guy as more than just some tasty fictional candy. I know in my head that he can't actually be dead but my heart still cries over the possibility.

Off to read Pandemonium now. Here's praying there won't be a love triangle and that Alex is alive!

Favorite quotes:

Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you—sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)
—From “i carry your heart with me"

I love you. Remember. They cannot take it.

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Blood Past (Warriors of Ankh #2)

2012-03-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

All Eden wants is redemption... but the road to redemption is never an easy one.

Travelling to Scotland to find her mother’s bloodline, Eden is soon embroiled in the politics and training of the Scottish Warriors of Neith. It is a world where some stand with open arms ready to welcome her as family, while others keep a wary distance, conspiring against her. Through it all Eden learns of love, friendship, and what it means to be a warrior. Her future has promise... that is until a man she thought forever gone from her life returns to threaten it all.
When the one person Eden loves above all else is endangered, she will have to make a choice. Him... or her?

Life is such a bitch...
... but so is Eden when you don’t play nice.

Blood Past by Samantha Young
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

How can I write this without sounding like a faingirl?

I can’t.

I shall continue with my complete adoration and mindless blabbering towards this series and, most importantly, towards Samantha Young.

Blood Past was f*cking awesome! It was everything I wanted to get out of the Warriors of Ankh series (at least so far). It’s like me and Samantha share the same mind. I ask a question while reading, turn the page and guess what? The answer is there!

Total reader-crush on her!

Next stop, more love spreading!

▪ I’m totally in love with Eden!
▪ I’m totally in love with Noah!
▪ I’m totally in love with Cyrus!

And speaking of Cyrus, cockblock much? He reminds me of Toothless (How to Train Your Dragon) at times..

That’s it! I’m a soft little bastard right now..

Book soundtrack: The Real McKenzies - The Maple Trees Remember

Favourite quotes

That little girl inside of her who had dreamed of a father who read bedtime stories, and sheltered her from the evil deeds of the world, wanted to reach out and grab hold of the connection he had declared and never, ever let go. But the little girl who had grown up with a father who murdered people in their basement shuddered with fear and shooed the hope away with a scowl.

“She’s like the Hitler of Scottish pronunciation.”
“I heard that!”
“Good, maybe you’ll stop correcting me every five seconds.”
“Maybe you’ll start pronouncing words correctly and stop embarrassing me.”
“Embarrassing you? I’m sorry if I can’t understand why you people think it’s acceptable to name a street Cockburn Street just because you pronounce it Co-burn Street.”

“They sent babies to do a man’s job.”
“Well, you know what they say about babies.” The soul eater smirked. “What’s that?”
“Don’t underestimate the amount of shit they can bring.”

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Seduce Me at Sunrise (The Hathaways #2)

2012-03-02T23:26:00.000-08:00

Kev Merripen has longed for the beautiful, well-bred Winnifred Hathaway ever since her family rescued him from the brink of death when he was just a boy. But this handsome Gypsy is a man of mysterious origins—and he fears that the darkness of his past could crush delicate, luminous Win. So Kev refuses to submit to temptation…and before long Win is torn from him by a devastating twist of fate.

Then, Win returns to England…only to find that Kev has hardened into a man who will deny love at all costs. Meantime, an attractive, seductive suitor has set his sights on Win. It’s now or never for Kev to make his move. But first, he must confront a dangerous secret about his destiny—or risk losing the only woman he has lived for…

Seduce Me at Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas
My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars

After being sorely disappointed by Mine Till Midnight, I didn't have high hopes for Seduce Me at Sunrise. But this is one of the rare cases in HR where the second book actually manages to be better than its preprocessor.

Win and Kev have been in love since they were children, but Kev feels he doesn't deserve her because of his rough past. Pretty clichéd, right? I thought so too, for about one chapter. But surprisingly, that's about all the pages it took for me to fall completely for Kev. I even understood why he felt unworthy of Win. I loved watching him slowly come to the realization that the past can't define his future, and Win's worthy of all the pain. I honestly cared about these two, which is the main thing that was missing from Mine Till Midnight.

I also genuinely liked reading about the interaction and dialogue between all the Hathaway siblings. Where it felt forced and slightly fake in Mine Till Midnight, it came across as completely natural and sweet in Seduce Me at Sunrise.

And Leo is a serious favorite of mine. He was more or less a worthless heap of bones in Amelia's story, but he's changed into quite a remarkable and capable man now. After Win's romance, I'm sure his will be the next best because I simply can't wait to see how he gets settled down with someone as stuck-up and uptight as the governess. Watching him happy is sure to compensate for all the times my heart has hurt over his bleak grief-induced words. Take this, for example:

"Amelia told me once about a suspicion she'd had for a while. It bothered her quite a bit. She said that when Win and I had fallen ill with scarlet fever, and you made the deadly nightshade syrup, you'd concocted far more than was necessary. And you kept a cup of it on Win's nightstand, like some sort of macabre nightcap. Amelia said that if Win had died, she thought you would have taken the rest of that poison. And I've always hated you for that. Because you forced me to stay alive without the woman I loved, while you had no bloody intention of doing the same."

Merripen didn't answer, gave no sign that he registered Leo's words.

"Christ, man," Leo said huskily. "If you had the bollocks to die with her, don't you think you could work up the courage to live with her?"

And this passage totally made me laugh for 5 minutes straight:

Glaring at the doctor, Kev spoke in Romany. "Ka xlia ma pe tute." (I'm going to shit on you.)

"Which means," Rohan said hastily, "Please forgive the misunderstanding; let's part as friends."

"Te malavel les i menkiva," Kev added for good measure. (May you die of a malignant wasting disease.)

"Roughly translated," Rohan said, "that means, 'May your garden be filled with fine, fat hedgehogs.' Which, I may add, is considered quite a blessing among the Rom."

Harrow looked skeptical.

And this one brought tears to my eyes:

He had said the sky should always be blue for her.

I really hope this keeps up and the rest of the books are as great as this one!

View all my reviews

Blood Will Tell (Warriors of Ankh #1)

2012-03-01T10:11:00.000-08:00

Eden is a Soul Eater. While that hasn’t meant much to her in the past, she’s pretty sure any minute now she’s going to go all "Carrie" on her eleventh grade class.

Noah is an Ankh. As an immortal Warrior, his purpose in life is to hunt down and kill Soul Eaters.

Eden is Noah’s next assignment. Problem is… this is an assignment with a difference. Eden’s not your average, run of the mill, Soul Eater. Noah’s job? To test Eden for possible redemption.

It’s a risky business.

Especially if Noah awakens Eden’s inner monster.
It would be kind of hard for Eden to listen to the angel on her shoulder when the devil on the other is telling her, her new best friend is a lying, scheming, immortal enemy...

....betrayal is such a bitch.

So is Eden when you get on her bad side.

Blood Will Tell by Samantha Young
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

With my fail streak up to 6, my hopes were gone. My mood is purely YA PNR lately so here I was just browsing Goodreads for something good (since I’m bored of my to-read shelf) and I stumbled upon Blood Will Tell. Since the cover model (the dude one, not this edition’s one – duh – I’ll attach it at the end) is super-hot (BOOO Existence) I felt compelled AGAIN to read it. The title seemed good enough but the series.. Warriors of Ankh?? Really? ...

*pause*

Really??

*pause*

Hmm ok, I’m probably sadistic but I gave it a try. And I’m thanking my sadism for this one.

LOVED it! I don’t know if it’s because of my mood or not (I sure hope not) but this book was 95% perfect to me. So I guess I can tell you guys to try it.

Hey, you know what would be fun? Having an Evilbot (that hates your guts) as a friend. Wouldn’t that be fun? Imagine all the wonderful discussions that you’d have about your favourite books! And killing people! Wouldn’t that be fun? It sure would..

Well, guess what?

The Evilbot Diaries are here!

Me: Hello Evilbot!
Evilbot: Hi
Me: What's up?
Evilbot: Plotting world domination.
Me: Did you read Blood Will Tell?
Evilbot: Yes. Twice, actually. It's my favorite book.
Me: I know, right? It's so amazing!
Evilbot: Yeah right! I'm enjoying having a conversation with you!
Me: Did you like Noah? He's such a hottie..
Evilbot: Who?
Me: Noah.
Evilbot: I don't know Noah.
Me: He's the main character in Blood Will Tell. I thought you said you've read it twice.
Evilbot: What is your favorite sharp object?
Me: Don't try to change the subject! You just lied to me about reading the book. You said it's your favourite book!
Evilbot: Not at all. Why?
Me: Why what?
Evilbot: Nothing.
Me: You're mocking me again, aren't you?
Evilbot: No. Not everything is about you.
Me: I hate you.
Evilbot: I hate you more!
Me: Ugh..

Favourite quote

“You,” she spat. “You are dead to me, you hear me? You come anywhere near me again and I’ll rip your throat out. And you,” she warned Romany. “You better run and hide… because I’m going to destroy you for what you’ve taken from me.”[I’m in love with this chick!!]

Favourite cover

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Existence (Existence Trilogy #1)

2012-03-01T10:09:00.000-08:00

What happens when you're stalked by Death? You fall in love with him, of course.

Pagan Moore doesn't cheat Death, but instead, falls in love with him.
Seventeen year old Pagan Moore has seen souls her entire life. Once she realized the strangers she often saw walking through walls were not visible to anyone else, she started ignoring them. If she didn't let them know she could see them, then they left her alone. Until she stepped out of her car the first day of school and saw an incredibly sexy guy lounging on a picnic table, watching her with an amused smirk on his face. Problem is, she knows he's dead.

Not only does he not go away when she ignores him, but he does something none of the others have ever done. He speaks. Pagan is fascinated by the soul. What she doesn't realize is that her appointed time to die is drawing near and the wickedly beautiful soul she is falling in love with is not a soul at all.

He is Death and he's about to break all the rules.

Existence by Abbi Glines
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

My thoughts before reading the book

What happens when you're stalked by Death? You fall in love with him, of course.

Oh god, why am I going to read this???

*looks at the cover model's eyes*

Yes master... I shall read the book...

My thoughts while reading the book

▪ Pagan? What kind of name is Pagan?

▪ Of course he’s gorgeous, just look at that damn cover!!

▪ Ugh please don’t let it be a love triangle!!

▪ Give me more of the dead dude.

▪ Fair hair for the good guy dark hair for the evil one? Typical. Is this why I have a thing for dark haired men?

▪ Meeeh love triangle ಠ_ಠ

▪ She ended in the nuthouse. How fitting.

▪ The ending = barf.

My thoughts after finishing the book [and after taking my anger out on my blind neighbor]

This could have been so much better.

<—you

Yeah, yeah, you’re right. It couldn’t have been better..

Everyone’s boring in this book; they have no personality whatsoever. When Pagan speaks I feel like I’m listening to a thirty year old woman and not a teenager. Not that a thirty year old woman would always be boring. I know some than are more immature than a sixteen year old. But that’s beside the point. Pagan is boring, Leif is super boring and Miranda is a desperate girl drooling over anything that has a penis. Dank is the only one standing out. Because he’s meant to stand out. Compared to the rest of the characters his presence is like Lady Gaga attending an award show.

If you don’t know what I mean then read on my friend.. Read on..

Dank is too exaggerated because he freakin’ stands out too much. And, oh noo, guess what? He’s Death. I mean Death aka The Reaper.

Bitch please.

Death. A teenager. That happens to be in a rock band. Who falls in love with an insignificant teenager. Twilight much? What, vampires are not popular anymore so Abbi Glines said ”What the hell? The formula seems to work so why not Google some creature, make him hot as hell and- oh wait. Hell. The Devil! No, no, that’s too much.. Everyone sees Al Pacino as the Devil. He’s not sexy enough. Oooh, I could die for an idea right now! Wait! Die! That’s it! I’ll make him Death! But not the black caped creepy skeleton thing but a sexy model like guy. Oooh, Ian Somerhalder but younger and even hotter! Brilliant!”

No Mrs. Glines, it’s not brilliant. It’s bullshit.

My thoughts on the next book in the series

Barf.

View all my reviews

Juliet Immortal (Juliet Immortal #1)

2012-03-01T10:06:00.000-08:00

"These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,
Which as they kiss consume."
—Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

The most tragic love story in history . . .

Juliet Capulet didn't take her own life. She was murdered by the person she trusted most, her new husband, Romeo Montague, a sacrifice made to ensure his own immortality. But what Romeo didn't anticipate was that Juliet would be granted eternity, as well, and would become an agent for the Ambassadors of Light. For 700 years, she's fought Romeo for the souls of true lovers, struggling to preserve romantic love and the lives of the innocent. Until the day she meets someone she's forbidden to love, and Romeo, oh Romeo, will do everything in his power to destroy that love.

Juliet Immortal by Stacey Jay
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

`~ Romeo’s song ~`

There comes a time in every weird underweight scar-faced teenager’s life when another soul inhabits her body and does a quick repair to her life. This may be also known as growing up to some, but to others this is called Juliet Immortal inhabiting your body to fight the forces of evil.

WARNING. Long quote ahead. Read it or you won’t get any dessert!

He is a romantic, a dreamer, and never afraid to play the fool. He is fearless and reckless and brave and I love him for it. Desperately. Love for him steals my breath away, makes me feel I am dying and being reborn every time I look into his eyes or run trembling fingers through his brown curls. I love him for the way he sprawls on the freshly scrubbed stones, strong legs flexing beneath his hose, as if there is no cause for worry, as if we have not broken every rule and do not face banishment from the only homes we have ever known. I love him for the way he finds my hand, presses it to his smooth cheek, inhaling as if my skin smells sweeter than the petals clinging to his coat. I love him for the way he whispers my name, “Juliet”—a prayer for deliverance, a promise of pleasure, a vow that all this sweet everything he is to me will be forever. Forever and always.[…]
“You are everything,” he says, eyes shining. “Everything.” And I know that I am. I am his moon, and his brightly shining star. I am his life, his heart. I am all that and the answer to every unspoken question, the comfort for every hurt, the companion who will walk beside him from now until the end of our lives, reveling in the bliss of each simple chore done in his name, overflowing with beauty because I am blessed to spend my life with my love.

Saying that I’m impressed with the author’s writing skills would be an understatement. This is wonderful and amazing and I’m in love! Ok, I’ll stop exaggerating. I admire her skills and I am really impressed with the first quarter of this book. The rest.. Go see Figure 1.

What’s wrong with Juliet Immortal? The love story and all the drama going on bored me. I wanted the book to be more like what it was in its beginning, a constant fight between Romeo and Juliet, lots of action, terrifying scenes and emotional moments. What this book offered me was a 700 year old teenager having her first crush and an overly annoying thoughtless selfish mean spoiled best friend who’s always begging for a ~~punch in the face~~ stab in the back.

Despite all the mentioning of supernatural elements, like her guardian (the Nurse), the Mercenaries and whatever (I don’t even remember them all), I didn’t get any scenes related to them that would explain wtf is going on. Who are all these beings possessing people out of the blue? What’s this nonsense about soul mates having to end up together else one of them dies? Cupid syndrome? What’s the purpose of everything? When will Juliet be free? What’s the deal with those mirrors? What’s the secret recipe for McDonalds fries? So many questions left unanswered…

I still fail to understand why Stacey Jay messed up a book that had such good potential. Why do [almost] all authors take this venomous path when it comes to YA?

Well, at least it didn’t have a love triangle.

Or it did.. No, I don’t consider this a love triangle. She loves one of the guys and wants to dig the other’s eye out with a paintbrush and feed it to the crows. One has to love both guys in order to be in a love triangle. Am I right?

I’m not entirely happy with the ending; I find it weird that they’ll reset the story. I was hoping for something else, especially considering Juliet. I mean wtf did they do to her?? She got shot in the head and didn’t die. Then she takes the hand of her zombie self and wakes up in the cemetery, 700 years in the past. In a coffin. Under the f*cking ground. And what do you know? Past Ben is there to rescue her. And he doesn’t even flip out when he sees a girl that’s supposed to be dead rise from her grave. Ooooh yes, plenty of people go through this.. that’s why he sticks his tongue down her throat like there’s no tomorrow and confesses his eternal love on the spot.

Since Romeo is my favourite character in the book (yes, I love him) I can truly say that I’m excited about Romeo Redeemed. I will read it for him and him only!

“This is better,” Romeo whispers in my ear. “Better to die than to be turned or stolen away to the mist.” His voice catches and something damp falls on my neck. “You can rest now, sweet Juliet, and perhaps that heaven we haven’t dared believe in will be there for you after all.”

The final chapter found me smiling while switching off my Kindle.

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What I Did for Love (Wynette, Texas #5)

2012-03-01T10:03:00.000-08:00

"How did this happen?" Georgie York, once the costar of America's favorite television sitcom, has been publicly abandoned by her famous husband, her film career has tanked, her father is driving her crazy, and her public image as a spunky heroine is taking a serious beating.

What should a down-on-her-luck actress do? "Not" go to Vegas . . . "not" run into her detestable former costar, dreamboat-from-hell Bramwell Shepard . . . and "not" get caught up in an ugly incident that leads to a calamitous elopement. Before she knows it, Georgie has a fake marriage, a fake husband, and maybe (or not) a fake sex life.

It's a paparazzi free-for-all, and Georgie's nonsupporting cast doesn't help. There's Bram's punk-nightmare housekeeper, Georgie's own pushy parent, a suck-up agent, an icy studio head with a private agenda, and her ex-husband's new wife, who can't get enough of doing good deeds and saving the world--the bitch. As for Georgie's leading man, Bram's giving the performance of his life, but he's never cared about anyone except himself, and it's not exactly clear why.

Two enemies find themselves working without a script in a town where the spotlight shines bright . . . and where the strongest emotions can wear startling disguises.

What I Did for Love by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Ooooh this was a disaster!

So I wanted to read something good, ok? I’m in a foul mood – most of the books I’ve read lately were a big disappointment - so I chose something to lift my mood up: SEP. I was having high expectations, of course, but I was sure SEP won’t let me down.

Oh hell… she let me down so badly..

I hated the book (even though the summary sounded very good); I hated the characters, hated the story and hated the non-existent humor. Booohooo but I’m not in the mood for drama when it comes to my SEP books.

Sooo, I ended up reading the first quarter of the book (meh), skimmed the middle and tried my best to read the last chapters (I didn’t get sh*t from them) and failed. So dnf’d it when I was 85% through.

The conclusion? The first one star book coming from an author I love so much. It’s painful but I hate being biased (from time to time).

The next one will be about Ted (finally!!!) so I’m going to stab a blind dude in the kidney (not joking) if it sucks.

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Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (Assassin's Creed #2)

2012-03-01T10:01:00.000-08:00

'I will journey to the black heart of a corrupt Empire to root out my foes. But Rome wasn't built in a day and it won't be restored by a lone assassin. I am Ezio Auditore da Firenze. This is my brotherhood.'

Rome, once mighty, lies in ruins. The city swarms with suffering and degradation, her citizens living in the shadow of the ruthless Borgia family. Only one man can free the people from the Borgia tyranny - Ezio Auditore, the Master Assassin.

Ezio's quest will test him to his limits. Cesare Borgia, a man more villainous and dangerous than his father the Pope, will not rest until he has conquered Italy. And in such treacherous times, conspiracy is everywhere, even within the ranks of the brotherhood itself...

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood by Oliver Bowden
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Watch before reading. Techno kitty demands it!

Despite the amazing trailer, Brotherhood is my least favourite game from the Assassin’s Creed franchise. This is mainly because the events are kind of boring and the villain, even though venomous and ruthless, needs lots of improving.

Imagine if the game is neutral how the book will be.

Yep, you got it!

But the positive thing is the fact that Oliver Bowden improved the story’s consistency (and his writing, for that matter). The events were blending together rather nicely, the characters seemed better contoured and Ezio was cooler than ever (or something close to that). All these aspects make Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood a decent read.

Oh, I just need to add that another tiny aspect. If you’re not a fan of the game you should probably avoid reading this book (and/or series). You won’t get sh*t.

Favourite quote (at least one of them)

[…] he went back to the wounded man, nearly slipping on the blood in which the slave trader was slithering. Bending down, Ezio cut one of the man’s hamstrings, keeping a hand over his mouth to stop him from howling. That should slow him up. For good. He pressed his mouth close to the man’s ear. “If you survive,” he said, “and get back to that pox-ridden louse you call your master, tell him all this was done with the compliments of Ezio Auditore. If not—requiescat in pace.”

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Can You Keep a Secret?

2012-03-01T09:53:00.001-08:00


	Things are suddenly starting to look up for the hapless but optimistic Emma Corrigan. She has kept her job at Panther Cola for nearly a year, has the perfect boyfriend and hopes for a promotion to marketing executive should her first opportunity to strut her stuff and land a business deal be successful. Unfortunately, things don't go quite as planned, and on her unusually turbulent return flight from a disappointing client meeting, in a terrified state, she confesses her innermost secrets to the good-looking stranger sitting beside her. When she shows up at work the next morning, she is horrified to discover that her mystery man is none other than the revered and brilliant Jack Harper, American CEO of Panther Cola, on a weeklong visit to the company's U.K. branch. Thus begins a series of chaotic, emotionally exhausting and funny episodes that thrust Emma, with her workaholic best friend, Lissy, and their awful flatmate Jemima, into a world of fairy tales, secrets and deceit. Venturing beyond Saks and Barney's, the bestselling author of Confessions of a Shopaholic and Shopaholic Ties the Knot entertains readers with backstabbing office shenanigans, competition, scandal, love and sex. The plot is gossamer thin (Jack is keeping secrets of his own) and the lopsided romance not entirely believable, but Kinsella's down-to-earth protagonist is sure to have readers sympathizing and doubled over in laughter.
	Can You Keep a Secret? by Sophie Kinsella My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Goal: Read a light book and laugh my ass off.

Result: Read a stupid book that made me want to cut it into little pieces.

Overall Goal: Happiness.

Overall Result: A sh*tty headache.

All my friends gave Can You Keep A Secret? a high score, all of them loved it, all of them asked me to read it.

So I did.

Yep. And I ended up having a headache. Literally. Mrs. Kinsella you owe me a pack of meds and a nice foot massage.

So why did all my friends love this book and I didn’t? I have no idea, to tell you the truth. I just know this: Emma is an idiot. A shallow clownish stupid boring insecure clueless loser. She’s the reason why I hated the book.

”'Please promote me,' I say desperately. 'Please. I have to get a promotion to impress my family. It's the only thing I want in the whole world, and I'll work so hard, I promise, I'll come in at weekends, and I'll … I'll wear smart suits.”

Facepalm compilation in

3

2

1

And btw, wtf is this Panther Cola crap? Is it cola that panthers drink or cola made out of panthers?

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Magic Bites (Kate Daniels #1)

2012-03-01T01:01:00.001-08:00


	Atlanta would be a nice place to live, if it weren’t for magic… One moment magic dominates, and cars stall and guns fail. The next, technology takes over and the defensive spells no longer protect your house from monsters. Here skyscrapers topple under onslaught of magic; werebears and werehyenas prowl through the ruined streets; and the Masters of the Dead, necromancers driven by their thirst of knowledge and wealth, pilot blood-crazed vampires with their minds. In this world lives Kate Daniels. Kate likes her sword a little too much and has a hard time controlling her mouth. The magic in her blood makes her a target, and she spent most of her life hiding in plain sight. But when Kate’s guardian is murdered, she must choose to do nothing and remain safe or to pursue his preternatural killer. Hiding is easy, but the right choice is rarely easy…
	Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Five reasons why owning a Beast Lord would kick ass

1. Getting dinner has never been this easy. I always have a hard time finding a good place to order my food from. Order, yes, since I’m too lazy to go out sometimes. Having a Beast Lord with me could save the day. Think of eating some yum roast whenever you want. You just say “Hey Curran, don’t you feel like eating some rabbit?” and he just goes and gets it for you. Freshest rabbit out there and it’s all yours.

Nah, I kid the rabbit catching thing. I could never eat rabbits, they’re too cute. I’m actually talking about that awesome restaurant that’s at the end of the city and doesn’t deliver to my street because I’m too far away. The lazy bastards! So I can just send my Beast Lord to fetch it for me since he needs a stretch of legs. Fastest delivery ever!

2. Lose weight like a boss. Sometimes all that chocolate I eat goes all the way to my ass. My husband might like it but I still like to fit in my favourite pair of jeans! Here’s where my Beast Lord comes in for the rescue. Beast Lords need to eat a lot. And I mean A LOT. Since I can’t afford to pay so much for food I’ll simply give him half of what I’m eating. And what do you know? I’ll probably be underweight in less than a week. What fun!

3. Redecorate your house every month. With all that running around it’s inevitable not to get casualties.

Curran: “Look! Squirrel!” – there goes my new lamp

Curran: “Look! Ball!”- there goes my new couch

Curran: “AAAAAA! Vacuum!”- there goes my living room

4. Be the most fashionable girl out there. Did you know that Beast Lords have the best sense of fashion? Yes they do! And since they’re such sweethearts they share everything they know with their owners.

I always have a hard time finding what to wear when I go out. I keep staring at my closet and no ideas pop in my mind. Curran just jumps into my room and chooses my clothes. And what do you know? Everyone compliments me, everyone is jealous.

Yes it’s totally because I’m gorgeous and not because of the growling Beast Lord that’s standing behind me.

5. Smile like there’s no tomorrow. The last and best, in my humble opinion, reason of all. Carnage! Since I hate almost everyone around me, I tend to get upset a lot. Why? Simple question. Because most of the people I know are idiots. So here I am doing my thing (aka: plotting world domination) when my dear Beast Lord brings me a gift: a severed head. And what do you know? It belongs to the chick who bought the last Nutella I wanted today at the supermarket!

I get bloody when it comes to my Nutella.

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The Girl Who Played with Fire (Millennium #2)

2012-02-29T16:16:00.000-08:00

Mikael Blomkvist, crusading journalist and publisher of the magazine Millennium, has decided to run a story that will expose an extensive sex trafficking operation between Eastern Europe and Sweden, implicating well-known and highly placed members of Swedish society, business, and government.

But he has no idea just how explosive the story will be until, on the eve of publication, the two investigating reporters are murdered. And even more shocking for Blomkvist: the fingerprints found on the murder weapon belong to Lisbeth Salander—the troubled, wise-beyond-her-years genius hacker who came to his aid in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, and who now becomes the focus and fierce heart of The Girl Who Played with Fire.

As Blomkvist, alone in his belief in Salander’s innocence, plunges into an investigation of the slayings, Salander herself is drawn into a murderous hunt in which she is the prey, and which compels her to revisit her dark past in an effort to settle with it once and for all.

The Girl Who Played with Fire by Stieg Larsson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The girl on the floor was dead. There was no doubt about that. He had buried her himself. Consequently, the creature on the floor was no girl, but a being from the other side of the grave who couldn’t be conquered with human strength or weapons known to man.

The Girl Who Played with Fire is a loud cry of independence made by an ordinary girl pushed to her limits by devastating events. A human life is something brittle, something that a villain can eradicate with only one touch. A plain day could start well and eventually end up in catastrophe; a friend is lost and everything changes. One can never fully know the person they sleep with. What is there to say about the voiceless neighbor who's been watching their every move for months? Nothing, until it's too late.

The human existence embodies the features of an individual in a social, cultural, and personal context. It describes aspects such as the search for purpose, sense of curiosity, the inevitability of isolation, or the fear of death.

F*ck it! I can’t do this sh*t!

I wanted to write a serious review but it seems that such things are not for me. So here are my thoughts.

Characters I wish were members of my street gang.

1. Darth Vader

2. Cookie Monster

3. Santa’s Retarded Elf

4. Scooby Doo

5. The Big Bad Wolf

6. Lisbeth Salander

Yes, my dear Lisbeth and her new boobies. B-t-dub, it seems that she’s officially a zombie now. Oh. My. God. A genius hacking zombie that looks hot in leather. Yum!

Fu*cking amazing book…

- Bonus Content –

This was one of my favourite scenes and, lucky me, I found this picture by mistake. I thought I should share it with you guys.

The ending almost killed me!

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Bad Taste in Boys (Kate Grable #1)

2012-02-29T16:08:00.001-08:00

Someone's been a very bad zombie.

Kate Grable is horrified to find out that the football coach has given the team steroids. Worse yet, the steriods are having an unexpected effect, turning hot gridiron hunks into mindless flesh-eating zombies. No one is safe--not her cute crush Aaron, not her dorky brother, Jonah . . . not even Kate! She's got to find an antidote--before her entire high school ends up eating each other. So Kate, her best girlfriend, Rocky, and Aaron stage a frantic battle to save their town . . . and stay hormonally human.

Bad Taste in Boys by Carrie Harris
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I used to think anyone over the age of three who went by the name Kiki deserved to be drawn and quartered with a spork.

I’m with you on that sistah! But let me rephrase it a little bit.

I always think that anyone over the age of sixteen who writes a boring book about zombie fighting teenage geeks deserves to be drawn and quartered with a sledgehammer.

Much better, isn’t it?

So, what is Bad Taste in Boys all about? Geeks gone wild. With zombies. I love zombies!

Every highschool geeky girl’s dream is to have her long-time crush save her from a stampede of flesh eating black puking stinky slimy zombies. Pretty cool, right?

Yep.. Pretty cool..

The whole story started with a silly idea. I love silly ideas. The best things in the world come from silly ideas. Like rainbow cotton candy, gay unicorns, pink cookie monsters, and my personal favorite, skull shaped man eating trees.

Bad Taste in Boys is.. let’s say not good enough to fit in that category.

Kate, our dearest heroine, is the newest weapon the US Government has to offer. She’s a genius who single-handedly created a cure for the zombie apocalypse! Or almost single-handedly. But that’s beside the point! Her magnificent brain is America’s newest weapon against zombie terrorism! Those highschool zombie jocks don’t stand a chance!

And speaking of zombie jocks, they’re pretty popular in YAs, aren’t they? It’s weird that only these undersized teenage boys and girls get to be zombies and not, let’s say, wrestlers, ninjas, giants or mass murderers.

And the cure being just a simple injection is also awesome, isn’t it? Just… freaking awesome..

Back to my point. This book sucks. It’s not a one-star sucking, but a two-star one. I admit it had some decent moments but the rest was a total borefest. Too bad the author seems like a cool person. I mean she used to dissect brains! How awesome is that??

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Ember (Darkest London #0.5)

2012-02-18T23:19:00.000-08:00


	After a fire consumes the Ellis family fortune, the beautiful and resourceful Miranda finds herself faced with an impossible dilemma: enter a life of petty crime or watch her family succumb to poverty. But once her fiancé learns of her descent into danger—and of the strange, new powers she's discovered—saving her family may come at the high price of her heart. When Lord Benjamin Archer's one chance for redemption is destroyed by corrupt London antiquarian Hector Ellis, he vows to take what Ellis values most—his daughter Miranda. Forced to hide his face behind masks, Archer travels the world hoping to escape the curse that plagues him so that he can finally claim his prize. But once Archer returns home to London, will it be revenge he seeks? Or will the flame-haired beauty ignite new, undeniable desires?
	Ember by Kristen Callihan My rating: 3 of 5 stars

As far as novellas go, Ember is one of the better ones out there. But despite it being the prequel to Firelight, I wouldn't recommend reading it in that specific order, becase frankly, Ember isn't nearly as captivating. Most especially if you're meeting Miranda and Archer for the first time. If I'd read this before Firelight, I might have never gotten around to the latter because Miranda comes across as meek and impressionable and Archer as slightly insane and obsessed in this one.

Nonetheless, Ember is a great read for getting to know Miranda and Archer better if you loved them in Firelight. The background information on these two is very interesting because most of it wasn't really explained that well once they become a married couple.

If possible, Ember should be read somewhere in the middle of Firelight, when you've fallen firmly in love with the story and characters and would appreciate getting to know Miranda and Archer's behavior and past better.

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The Body Finder (The Body Finder #1)

2012-02-12T23:11:00.000-08:00


	Violet Ambrose is grappling with two major issues: Jay Heaton and her morbid secret ability. While the sixteen-year-old is confused by her new feelings for her best friend since childhood, she is more disturbed by her "power" to sense dead bodies—or at least those that have been murdered. Since she was a little girl, she has felt the echoes that the dead leave behind in the world... and the imprints that attach to their killers. Violet has never considered her strange talent to be a gift; it mostly just led her to find the dead birds her cat had tired of playing with. But now that a serial killer has begun terrorizing her small town, and the echoes of the local girls he's claimed haunt her daily, she realizes she might be the only person who can stop him. Despite his fierce protectiveness over her, Jay reluctantly agrees to help Violet on her quest to find the murderer—and Violet is unnerved to find herself hoping that Jay's intentions are much more than friendly. But even as she's falling intensely in love, Violet is getting closer and closer to discovering a killer... and becoming his prey herself.
	The Body Finder by Kimberly Derting My rating: 3 of 5 stars

MILD SPOILERS AHEAD!

As with most books, The Body Finder can be divided into two halves; in this case, the half when Jay and Violet are "just friends" and the half after they become a couple.

First Half:

I loved this part of the book. I adored Jay, loved the relationship between him and Violet, was even intrigued about the mysterious killings. The third person narration took some getting used to though and was mildly irritating at parts. It wasn't entirely unnecessary, but the book would have been a hundred times better with first person narration instead. It would have made the characters and their story more alive, IMHO.

In the beginning, he only thing that bothered me was how completely dense and thick Jay and Violet were about their feelings for each other. These two are supposed to be the bestest of friends, the kind that know you better than you know yourself, etc. etc., but they don't know enough about each other's feelings and actions to realize their love is mutual? Seriously?

Which means that either a) they don't know each other as well as the author is trying to portray, or b) their "love" really isn't as deep as they keep telling each other it is. Either way, their relationship as a couple wasn't off to the greatest start to begin with.

Second Half:

So, miracle of miracles, Violet and Jay discover that they feel the same way about each other! Oh, the surprise! The shock!

Cue a lot of kissing and absolutely nothing else. This goes on for at least 10 chapters, where Violet becomes one of "those" heroines, the ones who only think about being with the hero, kissing him, seeing him, being seen with him, hanging out with him, being seen hanging out with him, you get the idea.

Eventually, we get back to the plot. There were several parts where I got goosebumps and would jump at the slightest movement, I'm not gonna lie. Unfortunately, that was all the villain's achievement, whereas our hero and heroine were still in their honeymoon phase.

I liked the chemistry between Jay and Violet so much at the beginning, I nearly squealed when they got together. I thought this would mean even more swoon-worthy and fangirling moments for me. I can be such an optimistic idiot sometimes.

Rather than their compatibility growing as a couple, Jay and Violet lost what little of the spark they had as "just friends" instead. Violet went from being a badass to the type of girl who can't even defend herself against her boyfriend's harem. And Jay transformed into the ultimate robotic boyfriend. He spent all his time with Violet, brought her gifts, ignored everyone else, stood up for her against his own fan club, and even bought a car so he could take her to Homecoming. How perfectly sweet of him. Key word being "perfect". He did every single thing that came to be expected from him, and hence, nothing he did ever surprised or impressed me. Boring much?

Overall:

Some people can write long and endless negative reviews, but that's normally not my style. If I truly loathe a book, it's rare that I'll care about it enough to give it a proper review. But the fact that I went ahead and did that for The Body Finder alone is proof enough that I did like the book, and will probably continue with the series. It was bad, but not unbearable. It was certainly interesting enough that I'm looking forward to finding out what happens next.

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Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson #3)

2012-02-09T23:08:00.000-08:00


	Paranormal private eye. Grim reaper extraordinaire. Whatever. Charley Davidson is back! And she’s drinking copious amounts of caffeine to stay awake because, every time she closes her eyes, she sees him: Reyes Farrow, the parthuman, part-supermodel son of Satan. Yes, she did imprison him for all eternity, but come on. How is she supposed to solve a missing persons case, deal with an ego-driven doctor, calm her curmudgeonly dad, and take on a motorcycle gang hellbent on murder when the devil’s son just won’t give up?
	Third Grave Dead Ahead by Darynda Jones My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

The UF genre needs more series like Charley Davidson, and more heroines like Charley. Series like this are the reason I became obsessed with the genre in the first place. Series that make me seriously entertain the thought of an alternate world out there, one where ~~the Son of Satan~~ grim reapers, werewolves, vampires, angels, and the whole lot run free. I've always considered a healthy belief in "What if's" to be essential for one's mental growth, so no, I'm not at all concerned about my sanity after writing that.

Third Grave Dead Ahead focuses more on the relationship between Charley and Reyes than the previous books. There's more on Charley's background and her "powers" here as well. Another love interest is also introduced, converting the love triangle to a harem instead (not that I'm complaining, mind you. Charley deserves all the love.)

Speaking of, Charley is my role model. I aspire to be as lively, witty, strong, and brilliant as her. I have half a mind to simply quote all the passages I loved, present them as evidence for why Charley is the funniest UF heroine in creation, and leave it at that. But since I never miss the chance to gush about her, I'll add a "few" words. This book took a dramatic turn towards the end, and I'm amazed at how well Charley dealt with it. She convincingly proved that not only is she humorous, she can also be clever and mature when the situation calls for it. It's remarkable how she can manage to be so funny without seeming like an airhead in the least.

So after all that praise, why is this still a 4-star book? Only because of one simply rule I have when it comes to giving 5 stars: if I have to take out the time to think about whether or not I loved a book enough to give it that rating, I won't. Because that thinking part alone means there was something missing, some sort of epic factor found in the other books I've rated 5 stars, that wasn't present here. Maybe I can't pinpoint it at the moment, but it usually comes to me the next time I give that high rating.

Nonetheless, I LOVE this series. I feel the need to strongly emphasize this point again, especially after the previous paragraph. Charley Davidson (the series, not the character) is refreshing, exciting, original, and thoroughly engaging. It takes immense talent to turn everything into a joke at one moment and to reveal something serious or tragic the next. This is a light and funny book for the most part, but it has these great heart-wrenching, thought-provoking moments that do more for the series than all the jokes combined. And I think that, more than anything else, is what makes Dyranda Jones's writing style stand out against all the other UF authors out there.

My love letter to Reyes (SPOILERS AHEAD!):

Because of the way Third Grave ended, I composed a very friendly letter to Reyes and mailed it to his address within the depths of Hell. Here's a copy:

Smexy Reyes,

You know how much I love you, how I positively swoon every time you appear, and how I would even give up chocolate if it meant we could be together. But sweetie, you have got to stop playing these mind games with Charley, putting her in danger, keeping secrets from her, and hitting her. I'm sure you have your reasons, but until you put an end to this infuriating habit of yours...let me just remind you that she will always come first for me, even if you're hotter, and the next time you mess with her, I'll lock her up with Donovan and/or Garrett in a secluded bedroom and let lust run its natural course. How would you like that? My thoughts precisely. Now get your act together, and grovel at my Charley's feet, or I will execute this brilliant plan of mine.

Courageously,
Dija

Some of my favorite quotes:

Puppy love was a powerful elixir. I should know. The things I did for Tim La Croix, my senior-year crush. Unfortunately, I’d been in kindergarten at the time, otherwise he might have taken note.

When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
—T-SHIRT

Reyes hit me! He’d actually hit me! It didn’t matter that hitting me wasn’t really like hitting a regular girl and I’d be completely healed in a matter of hours. I was still a freaking girl, and he damned well knew it. I’d just have to hit him back. With a lead pipe. Or an eighteen-wheeler.

“The top five things you never want to say to a grim reaper: I’m dead tired. You’re killing me. I’m dying to try that. This relationship will be the death of me.
[...]
The number one thing you don’t want to say to the grim reaper is…Till death do us part.”

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Can You Keep a Secret?

2012-02-07T23:04:00.000-08:00


	Meet Emma Corrigan, a young woman with a huge heart, an irrepressible spirit, and a few little secrets: Secrets from her boyfriend: I've always thought Connor looks a bit like Ken. As in Barbie and Ken. Secrets from her mother: I lost my virginity in the spare bedroom with Danny Nussbaum while Mum and Dad were downstairs watching Ben-Hur. Secrets she wouldn't share with anyone in the world: I have no idea what NATO stands for. Or even what it is. Until she spills them all to a handsome stranger on a plane. At least, she thought he was a stranger. Until Emma comes face-to-face with Jack Harper, the company's elusive CEO, a man who knows every single humiliating detail about her...
	Can You Keep a Secret? by Sophie Kinsella My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Rating Breakdown:
Enjoyment - 5 stars
Story - 3 stars
Emma - 3.5 stars
Jack - 2 stars
Side characters - 5 stars
Ending - 2.5 stars

The average is 3.5 stars, but since enjoyment is my number one reason for reading in the first place, I'll round it up to 4 stars.

This book is, hands-down, the funniest book I've ever read. I laughed so hard, I had tears in my eyes and cramps in my tummy throughout. This book should come with a warning label, something like, Can You Keep a Secret?... AKA The Sole Cause of Death by Laughter World-Wide! It's nearly impossible to hate a book after it makes you feel so warm and fuzzy inside.

Most of this book is solid 5-star material. There's humor, romance, ~~lesbian fantasies,~~ drama, and good decision-making, along with some of the most outrageously hilarious characters ever to be created (yes, I mean you, Jemima). Unfortunately, the ending sorely lacks closure, and is the main reason why I didn't give this a higher rating. All my other problems mainly stem from this one issue.

The ending left me entirely unsatisfied and highly doubtful about the future of Emma and Jack, as a couple and otherwise. Basically, it didn't feel like an ending. It was rushed and anti-climactic, in addition to being slightly unrealistic. It would have been the perfect ending had this been a series, but since it's a stand-alone novel, I got the distinct impression that there were still several chapters left, and they were simply missing from the version of the book I read. Not the greatest feeling to have after finishing a book, to be sure.

Emma is a lot better at confrontations and standing up for herself than the other two heroines of Kinsella's I've read, namely Poppy from I've Got Your Number: A Novel and Lexi from Remember Me? I'm sure most female readers can relate to her in one aspect or the other. I really loved Jack too, until he betrayed Emma. I never truly accepted his excuse, nor did I entirely forgive him for it.

After everything that happened between Emma and Jack, especially the whole deal with their respective secrets, I would have really liked to see more of them as a couple, to genuinely believe they had anything lasting going on. These are two individuals from vastly different backgrounds, and let's face it: the man's a multimillionaire, and the girl's his employee. In real life, these kind of relationships hardly ever work out, and I would have liked Kinsella to prove me wrong by actually showing Emma and Jack in a stable relationship, one where they both learn to talk their problems out instead of jumping to conclusions. We never really get to know Jack as someone besides "Jack Harper, the man who founded the Panther Corporation", and the trust between Emma and him seems too delicate and fragile for anything but a temporary affair.

I guess I was simply expecting more from this book, and while it was one of the best light reads I've read in a while, that annoying feeling I got, the one where I really don't feel the ending did justice to the story, sort of ruined it for me.

That aside, this is truly a fantastic book, one of the rare ones I'll certainly be re-reading in the years to come.

THANK YOU to everyone who urged me to read this book ASAP! I am forever indebted to you. ♥♥♥

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I've Got Your Number

2012-02-03T23:07:00.000-08:00


	I've lost it. The only thing in the world I wasn't supposed to lose. My engagement ring. It's been in Magnus's family for three generations. And now, the very same day his parents are coming, I've lost it. The very same day. Do not hyperventilate Poppy. Stay positive!! Poppy Wyatt has never felt luckier. She is about to marry the ideal man, Magnus Tavish, but in one afternoon her 'happy ever after' begins to fall apart. Not only has she lost her engagement ring but in the panic that followed, she has now lost her phone. As she paces shakily round the hotel foyer she spots an abandoned phone in a bin. Finders keepers! Now she can leave a number for the hotel to contact her when they find her ring. Perfect! Well, perfect except the phone's owner, businessman Sam Roxton doesn't agree. He wants his phone back and doesn't appreciate Poppy reading all his messages and wading into his personal life. What ensues is a hilarious and unpredictable turn of events as Poppy and Sam increasingly upend each other's lives through emails and text messages. As Poppy juggles wedding preparations, mysterious phone calls and hiding her left hand from Magnus and his parents... she soon realises that she is in for the biggest surprise of her life.
	I've Got Your Number: A Novel by Sophie Kinsella My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Lately, only two types of books have been appealing to me: completely epic ones or completely silly ones. I've Got Your Number most definitely falls under the second category. IGYN is funny, sweet, inspirational, romantic, enjoyable, and plain fun.

Poppy Wyatt loses her priceless engagement ring mere weeks before her wedding, and her cell phone soon thereafter. While searching for the former, she comes across a phone thrown in the trash can. Justifying her actions through the timeless "Finders keepers" rule, she decides to keep it. The phone turns out to be company property and the owner, Sam, wants it back. This results in a lot of bickering and bargaining on both parts, and they end up agreeing to "share" the phone for the time being.

I’ve never shared an in-box with anyone in my life. I didn’t expect it to feel so…intimate. It’s as if we’re suddenly sharing an underwear drawer or something.

In spite of the fact that Poppy is a combination of everything I despise in women, I still ended up adoring her. She makes way more mistakes than the average person and doesn't even realize the consequences, almost like a clueless teenager. She runs away from things that are right in front of her face and hates confrontations.

Despite all that, however, there's something entirely sweet and innocent about her, and no matter how hard you try holding on to the hate and annoyance, it keeps slipping because everything else aside, Poppy means well, and manages to at least be funny while messing up. How could I possibly dislike someone who made me smile and laugh so often?

Unexpectedly, Sam is the one who didn't impress me. He's this perfect, serious, rich, confident man, but none of those characteristics make him stand out against any of the other male leads. It was only during the last few chapters that I grew to love and understand him. The forest scene is entirely responsible for the change. It was only then that I realized how amazingly caring and sensitive Sam really is.

For a romance novel, there is a surprisingly less amount of said factor and a lot more of growing up (even if you're already an adult) and facing reality in I've Got Your Number. The love between Sam and Poppy develops slowly but surely since these two are completely different individuals from even more different lives. If the romance had been rushed and fast-paced, I highly doubt it would have come across as a realistic or long-term relationship. As it happens, though, Sam and Poppy develop into a natural and forever-and-ever type couple, balancing each other out perfectly.

"Lover? I don’t know. I don’t know if she loves me. I don’t know if I love her. All I can say is, she’s the one I think about. All the time. She’s the voice I want to hear. She’s the face I hope to see."
[...]
He’s the one I think about. All the time. He’s the voice I want to hear. When my phone bleeps, I hope it’s him.

Overall, I've Got Your Number is a delightful read, ideal for all those days you need just a little emotional boost to carry on with your normal routine. I can't wait to read more books by Kinsella!

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Cinder (Lunar Chronicles #1)

2012-01-31T23:01:00.000-08:00


	Humans and androids crowd the raucous streets of New Beijing. A deadly plague ravages the population. From space, a ruthless lunar people watch, waiting to make their move. No one knows that Earth's fate hinges on one girl... Cinder, a gifted mechanic, is a cyborg. She's a second-class citizen with a mysterious past, reviled by her stepmother and blamed for her stepsister's illness. But when her life becomes intertwined with the handsome Prince Kai's, she suddenly finds herself at the center of an intergalactic struggle, and a forbidden attraction. Caught between duty and freedom, loyalty and betrayal, she must uncover secrets about her past in order to protect her world's future.
	Cinder by Marissa Meyer My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Cinder begins with a cyborg mechanic sitting around in her shop as usual, when suddenly, His Royal Highness Prince Kai walks in with his mysteriously broken android, which he wants Cinder to fix. A lot of mumbling and blushing on Cinder's part ensues and the prince leaves thoroughly enchanted with her ~~speaking abilities~~ charming personality.

Unfortunately, that none-too-impressive beginning only leads to more of the same, starting with the dull narration. There's something entirely passive about it that seems as if the reader is being told the story, rather than being allowed to live it.

Throughout this book, I constantly felt that everything should have been more. All the makings of an epic book are there, but they're not taken advantage of. Cinder can be tough when the situation calls for it, but she's annoyingly meek when facing her stepmother. She can be loyal, but she's also incredibly naive at times. Likewise, Kai is certainly regal enough, but he has a certain "untouchable" air about him that just didn't do it for me. He has the basic personality of a great hero, but has yet to reach that stage.

Similarly, the plot is original and unique, but some of the main plot twists can be easily seen from at least 10 chapters away. There were some minor twists that managed to surprise me, but not enough to overshadow the effect of the ones I clearly foresaw.

All that being said, Cinder is still a pretty good book overall. It presents a fascinating retelling of Cinderella and sets the stage for what is hopefully going to lead to a great sequel. All my misgivings about this book will most likely be modified for the better in the next one. One can hope, at least.

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Shatter Me (Shatter Me #1)

2012-01-22T22:56:00.000-08:00


	Juliette hasn't touched anyone in exactly 264 days. The last time she did, it was an accident, but The Reestablishment locked her up for murder. No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal. As long as she doesn't hurt anyone else, no one really cares. The world is too busy crumbling to pieces to pay attention to a 17-year-old girl. Diseases are destroying the population, food is hard to find, birds don't fly anymore, and the clouds are the wrong color. The Reestablishment said their way was the only way to fix things, so they threw Juliette in a cell. Now so many people are dead that the survivors are whispering war-- and The Reestablishment has changed its mind. Maybe Juliette is more than a tortured soul stuffed into a poisonous body. Maybe she's exactly what they need right now. Juliette has to make a choice: Be a weapon. Or be a warrior.
	Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi My rating: 3.75 of 5 stars

Shatter Me is a beautiful, heart-breaking story about a supposedly insane girl locked up in an asylum for a crime she never meant to commit.

There are many, many aspects of this book that make hating it practically effortless. And despite being an easily irritated person, I still thoroughly loved reading Shatter Me. I had to ignore and overlook a lot of things, but it paid off because the book is extremely enjoyable underneath all the faults.

More than half the reason I went so easy on the book is because of the beautiful, amazing, heart-wrenching, powerful writing style. It took a little getting used to in the beginning, because of how different it is, but once I got a grip on the narration, I couldn't stop feeling wowed by every single sentence. There's something really, really wonderful about Mafi's writing that simply speaks to the heart. It's almost poetic.

Again, it is very, very easy to hate Juliette. She's insecure, timid, and shy. But she's also gentle, strong, and like Adam said, good. Hating her is like kicking a dying puppy. They're both too sweet and sad.

"God, Juliette, I’d follow you anywhere. You’re the only good thing left in this world."

After the writing, Adam is the best thing about this book. His character is perfect for keeping this book from becoming too hopeless and dark. I love him.

Favorite Quotes:

Raindrops are my only reminder that clouds have a heartbeat. That I have one, too.

The world is flat.
I know because I was tossed right off the edge and I’ve been trying to hold on for 17 years. I’ve been trying to climb back up for 17 years but it’s nearly impossible to beat gravity when no one is willing to give you a hand.
When no one wants to risk touching you.

I grew up with nothing and I didn’t hate it. I didn’t want the clothes or the perfect shoes or the expensive anything. I didn’t want to be draped in silk. All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being, not just with my hands but with my heart.

I don’t remember what it means to breathe.
I never
ever
ever
knew
what it meant to feel.

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The Last Dragon

2012-01-20T06:57:00.001-08:00

Master storyteller Jane Yolen (Owl Moon, Sword of the Rightful King) and celebrated fantasy artist Rebecca Guay (Swamp Thing, Magic: The Gathering) weave a textured and lyrical tale of adventure, homelands, and heroism the hard way.Two hundred years ago, humans drove the dragons from the islands of May. Now, the last of the dragons rises to wreak havoc anew — with only a healer’s daughter and a kite-flying would-be hero standing in its way.

The Last Dragon by Jane Yolen
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The first thing that impressed me when starting this graphic novel was the artwork. Oh my god jumping mushrooms this is amazing! Cheers for the artist for managing to create such a wonderful and magical environment. The story seems a bit fairy-tale-ish but overall is not bad, and the whole read left me with a pretty satisfying feeling in the end. My only problem was related to the speech bubbles and other comic book elements used by the designer. They didn’t match the style of the rest of the book.

This story is recommended for young adult/fantasy readers that are, of course, into graphic novels as well.

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Silver-Tongued Devil (Sabina Kane #4)

2012-01-20T03:35:00.001-08:00

Now that the threat of war has passed, Sabina Kane is ready to focus on the future. Her relationship with Adam Lazarus is getting stronger and she's helping her sister, Maisie, overcome the trauma of her captivity in New Orleans. Even Giguhl is managing to stay out of trouble thanks to the arrival of Pussy Willow and his new roller derby team. But as much as Sabina wants to feel hopeful about the future, part of her doesn't trust that peace is possible.

Her suspicions are confirmed when a string of sadistic murders threaten to stall treaty negotiations between the mages and the vampires. Sabina pitches in to find the killer, but her investigation soon leads her down dark paths that have her questioning everyone she thought she could trust. And the closer she gets to the killer, the more Sabina begins to suspect this is one foe she may not be able to kill.

Silver-Tongued Devil by Jaye Wells
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Tsk tsk my dear Sabina Kane, what the hell happened to you??

I was excited about this one. Nah, ok, you’re right. I wasn’t THAT excited. Just a little bit. However, I wanted a nice story especially since the previous book was pretty awesome. But this?? 40% boredom, 60% bullsh*t. I ended up skimming most of it.

Yes, this means that the next one won’t even be on my “to-read” shelf.

No, I won’t change my mind.

Yes, owls are extremely cute.

Yes, I do have a picture of an owl wearing a top hat and a monocle.

No, I won’t share it with you.

Ok, stop whining, I’ll share it with you.

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Bloodrose (Nightshade #3)

2012-01-19T22:46:00.000-08:00

Calla has always welcomed war.

But now that the final battle is upon her, there's more at stake than fighting. There's saving Ren, even if it incurs Shay's wrath. There's keeping Ansel safe, even if he's been branded a traitor. There's proving herself as the pack's alpha, facing unnamable horrors, and ridding the world of the Keepers' magic once and for all. And then there's deciding what to do when the war ends. If Calla makes it out alive, that is.

Bloodrose by Andrea Cremer

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Thoughts before reading:

What I ~~want~~ demand to see in this book:

1. More Ren. We got a book dedicated to Shay, now I want one solely for Ren!!
2. No Shay. He's not even worthy of the screen-time he got in Wolfsbane, and it would be terribly inconsiderate of Cremer if she makes us tolerate him for one more entire book.
3. Calla growing up for once and making decisions for herself that don't immediately put everyone close to her in mortal danger.
4. Emile dying an extremely painful and drawn-out death, preferably by Ren's hand.
5. An awesome epilogue featuring Calla and Ren as a married couple with a few tiny cubs. ♥♥

Thoughts after reading:

I have yet to come across a more wimpy, spineless ending. This is one of the few times I've judged a book based not on the characters, but on the plot. And because it is virtually impossible to discuss Bloodrose without spoiling it, I'll try my best to convey my feelings through GIFs alone.

I first read the ending, and it took a while for it to sink in.

After re-reading the passage a few times, it finally hit.

And then...

Really, Cremer.

I set out to write a long review on how absolutely gutless it is to kill off a character just because your heroine can't choose her man, but I now realize that I simply can't be bothered.

So, well done, Cremer. I hope you're having fun in Shayland.

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Lothaire (Immortals After Dark, #12)

2012-01-17T07:04:00.000-08:00

From the humblest of beginnings a millennia ago, Lothaire the Enemy of Old rose to power, becoming the most feared and evil vampire in the immortal world. Driven by his past, he will not rest until he captures the vampire Horde’s crown for himself. The discovery of his Bride, the female meant only for him, threatens to derail his plot.

Elizabeth Peirce is a mere mortal, a glaring vulnerability for a male with so many blood foes bent on annihilating anything he desires. Yet soon he discovers his Bride’s secret. A magnificent power dwells inside the fragile human, one that will aid his quest. But to possess that power, he will have to destroy her. Will Lothaire succumb to the torments of his past, or seize a future with her?

Lothaire by Kresley Cole
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Hello my friends. I’m here to pay tribute to one of the most important characters from the series Immortals After Dark. He’s one of the meanest, cruelest, arrogant, controlling, sadistic, insulting, jealous, possessive, psychotic, bloody, black-clawed characters out there. Let’s hear it for the one, the only, the Enemy of the Old, Lothaire!

*Tchaikovsky’s ”Dance of the Mirlitons” playing in the background*

Yes Lothaire. I’ve depleted all my wall-punching gifs for you. Because you’re worth it!

Seriously now, being in a relationship with this dude would be a nightmare. But I have to admit he’s fun as hell. He and I share some similar opinions on life and people.

“When mortals ask me incessant questions, I customarily snatch out their tongues and watch them bleed to death.”

“I often help others discover the outer limits of their hatred. It’s a talent of mine.”

Apparently, he’d killed so many family members that he must have significantly affected the Lore’s population. Doing my part for the environment.

How can’t you admire a person like him? You actually can’t at times. The bastard got me so angry I could punch a wall. Oh wait.

*ouch*

Anyway, Lothaire was loads of fun! One of my favourite moments was the organ/body part exchange. It’s bit of a spoiler probably but nothing too important.

*after clawing out his own heart and sending it in a package, Lothaire’s attached note reads the following*

Elizabeth,
With my compliments.

You will never get your claws into another one of mine.

Rot in hell,
L

Cracks me up every time!

P.S. Where’s the topless dude on the cover?

--------------------------------------------------------
misc stuff: Did you know the cover model’s name is Paul Marron? (Google him, you’ll get an eyeful) He’s the same cover model as BDB’s Lover Avenged.

book playlist: Demon Seed by Nine Inch Nails

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Firelight (Darkest London #1)

2012-01-15T22:59:00.000-08:00


	London, 1881 Once the flames are ignited . . . Miranda Ellis is a woman tormented. Plagued since birth by a strange and powerful gift, she has spent her entire life struggling to control her exceptional abilities. Yet one innocent but irreversible mistake has left her family's fortune decimated and forced her to wed London's most nefarious nobleman. They will burn for eternity . . . Lord Benjamin Archer is no ordinary man. Doomed to hide his disfigured face behind masks, Archer knows it's selfish to take Miranda as his bride. Yet he can't help being drawn to the flame-haired beauty whose touch sparks a passion he hasn't felt in a lifetime. When Archer is accused of a series of gruesome murders, he gives in to the beastly nature he has fought so hard to hide from the world. But the curse that haunts him cannot be denied. Now, to save his soul, Miranda will enter a world of dark magic and darker intrigue. For only she can see the man hiding behind the mask.
	Firelight by Kristen Callihan My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

Have you ever read a book and felt as if it was written solely for you, keeping everything you love and want when it comes to novels in mind? I hadn't either, not before Firelight.

Firstly, allow me to gush about the exceptionally well-written historical aspect of this book. The entire book is filled with precise details and the sort of warmth produced only be times gone by. Callihan's storytelling and narration make even the most insignificant of scenes stand out in memory, till you can practically taste the events. Outstanding skill.

Secondly, the romance is one of the sweetest, most natural I have ever had the pleasure of reading. Archer is the beast with an unidentifiable physical disease and Miranda is the beauty with an unheard of ability. Together, they make the most swoon-worthy, lovable couple ever! A lot of their dialogue is worthy of being printed and hung up in frames.

And there's sex too. Lots of it. The toe-curling, eyebrow-raising kind.

Oh, stop. You're making me blush. ///

Lastly, the plot and story are both utterly engaging and unique. Archer is an ex-member of the mysterious West Moon Club, whose members are being murdered grotesquely, one after the other. Stranger still, Archer seems to know exactly who the murderer is. He constantly wears a mask ~~which is just the most sexiest thing~~ and evades every personal question his lovely bride asks him.

And since our heroine is hardly the meek, yes-master type, she decides to take the highly-suspicious affair into her own hands. Where that would usually entail pointless, poorly thought-out plans when it comes to most heroines, resulting in me having a migraine, Miranda is actually a very capable and responsible woman, well-used to taking care of herself and matters pertaining to her. I almost never got irritated with her, a huge accomplishment on Callihan's behalf.

The reality of Archer's physical infliction is more shocking than anything my imagination had conjured (which is saying a lot, trust me), and the sci-fi element consequently added is also quite unexpected. A combination of all these factors results in one of the best novels and certainly the best HR I've read in ages.

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Shadow Heir (Dark Swan #4)

2012-01-15T22:52:00.000-08:00


	Shaman-for-hire Eugenie Markham strives to keep the mortal realm safe from trespassing entities. But as the Thorn Land's prophecy-haunted queen, there's no refuge for her and her soon-to-be-born-children when a mysterious blight begins to devastate the Otherworld... The spell-driven source of the blight isn't the only challenge to Eugenie's instincts. Fairy king Dorian is sacrificing everything to help, but Eugenie can't trust the synergy drawing them back together. The uneasy truce between her and her shape shifter ex-lover Kiyo is endangered by secrets he can't--or won't--reveal. And as a formidable force rises to also threaten the human world, Eugenie must use her own cursed fate as a weapon--and risk the ultimate sacrifice...
	Shadow Heir by Richelle Mead My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Eugenie's aggravating adventures finally come to an end in Shadow Heir. While I have yet to regain my former love for Richelle Mead's adult series, I didn't completely loathe this ending either.

Eugenie is just as irritating, immature, selfish, and blind as she's always been. I couldn't believe her internal dialogue at times. She continuously gives Dorian a hard time for something he tried and succeeded in making up for, but she's completely willing to give Kiyo another chance as soon as he even hints at an apology.

Speaking of, Kiyo is my most-hated male character ever. Take every single characteristic most women despise in men, gift wrap it in shiny paper, and you have Kiyo. Tragically enough, he didn't get that painful death I prayed so hard for. In fact, there's almost no conclusion as far as Kiyo is concerned. After keeping him as a main character for the previous 3 books, he mostly fades into the background in this one. Extremely disappointing (that he didn't die, not his absence).

And Dorian...ah, Dorian. I do so love you. Even though you and I obviously don't know the same Eugenie, I still adore you. Especially when you say:

What wouldn't I do for you?

Which reminds me: did anyone else feel cheated on Dorian's behalf? The poor man had to suffer so much, and he barely gets 5 pages of his HEA?! Where's the justice in the world??? Likewise, the pacing in Shadow Heir is completely wacked. The first half is so slow and dull that it put me to sleep several times, and the second half is so fast-paced that it feels annoyingly rash and abrupt. Despite that, the ending was pretty good. By which, I'm not referring to the very last few pages, but a little bit before that. I'm glad Mead finally gave us the hero we've wanted, notwithstanding the long road it took to get there. And yay for Dorian being the father! I totally squealed like the fangirl I am when that was revealed!

The actual ending ending is extremely sudden and hurried. The lack of a proper epilogue is sorely felt and, like I said after reading Succubus Revealed, I don't care if Mead plans on revisiting the story and creating a spin-off. She should at least try and finish up the current series. Her brusque style when it comes to endings is absolutely galling.

So good-bye, Eugenie. I can't say you'll be missed, but it hasn't all been bad.

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Chimichanga

2012-01-15T09:04:00.000-08:00

	Eric Powell, creator of the award winning series The Goon, brings his offbeat humor and distinctive style to his newest creation! A story fit for youngsters, Chimichanga tells the tale of a bearded girl, her less than spectacular traveling circus, and a bizarre creature that turns their lives upside down.
	Chimichanga by Eric Powell My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Ohmygosh would you look at that! The coloring is freakin’ amazing! My eyes are drooling right now!

I’m going to act very mature about this. It's absolutely fantastic! The characters are to die for and the artwork… oh the artwork is magnificent! I wonder if we’ll get more issues for this. I would really love to read more of the bearded girl and her awesome pet!

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The Manara Library Volume 1

2012-01-15T08:25:00.000-08:00

Italian comics legend Milo Manara brings a comprehensive collection of his catalogue to the United States! The first in a nine-volume series, The Manara Library Volume One collects two of Manara's seminal works in a magnificently appointed, deluxe hardcover edition.

The sweeping epic Indian Summer, a collaboration with celebrated creator Hugo Pratt, is collected here along with Manara's The Paper Man, both translated by Euro comics expert Kim Thompson. Also featuring an introduction by comics luminary Frank Miller, The Manara Library series will see some of the art form's most beautiful comics painstakingly translated and collected into hardcover for the first time

The Manara Library Volume 1 by Hugo Pratt
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Wow, now that was rather… disturbing. I fell for the pretty cover and thought this will be something entirely different. I’m sad to say I couldn’t even finish it. This book is not for me. If you can handle nudity, rape, incest and so on, you can go ahead and give it a try. If you thought, it will be a nice story filled with, I don’t know, love and butterflies then I suggest you look the other way.

It's clearly not my cup of tea.

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Hades: Lord of the Dead (Olympians #4)

2012-01-13T10:49:00.001-08:00

Volume 4 of the highly acclaimed Olympians series!

Hades: Lord of the Dead tells the story of the great God of the Underworld and one of the most famous of all Greek myths: Hades’ abduction of Persephone and her mother’s revenge. Be prepared to see a new side of Persephone in this dynamic adaptation of the story of the creation of the seasons.

In Olympians, O’Connor draws from primary documents to reconstruct and retell classic Greek myths. But these stories aren’t sedate, scholarly works. They’re action-packed, fast-paced, high-drama adventures with monsters, romance, and not a few huge explosions. O’Connor’s vibrant, kinetic art brings ancient tales to undeniable life in a perfect fusion of super-hero aesthetics and ancient Greek mythology.

Hades: Lord of the Dead by George O'Connor
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I’m totally clueless right now. I have to write a review for this, and I have no idea what to say.

I’m not really into Greek gods and all, but this was rather… educational? I mean it’s a good read for your general knowledge and if you like these stories you’ll probably enjoy this graphic novel. The illustrations are extremely pleasant, and the whole thing is very easy to read. The printed version will probably be even better.

Why did I choose this if I’m not into these stories? I thought it will be a more action-filled book and less of a “history lesson." Hades is creepy and I always loved him, so I thought everything will go bloody. He was too good. He didn’t even kill anyone!

However, again, I need to say that this is not really my thing thus my score. I'm totally neutral about it.

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Bad Taste in Boys (Kate Grable #1)

2012-01-13T03:44:00.000-08:00

Someone's been a very bad zombie.

Bad Taste in Boys by Carrie Harris
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I used to think anyone over the age of three who went by the name Kiki deserved to be drawn and quartered with a spork.

I’m with you on that sistah! But let me rephrase it a little bit.

I always think that anyone over the age of sixteen who writes a boring book about zombie fighting teenage geeks deserves to be drawn and quartered with a sledgehammer.

Raven-1

2012-01-11T06:16:00.000-08:00

Friends with Boys

2012-01-10T03:15:00.000-08:00

Friends with Boys by Faith Erin Hicks
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Come meet the gang! This here’s the happy family.

This here’s Maggie, our dearest heroine.

Then we have Lloyd and Zander (aka the twins). They have a major love/hate thing going on.

And the overly talented Daniel!

He’s actually a zombie hunter. But don’t tell anyone!

And last but not least, the coolest people around the block! My newest BFF, Lucy.

And her brother (and my newest crush) Alistair.

And let’s not forget the persistent stalker ghost who keeps on popping up in the strangest places!

Sum all these elements up and you get an amazingly fun graphic novel. It became my addiction and I’m close to stalking the author in order to know the publishing date for the next one because I need to have more of the gang! Undoubtedly five stars!

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Any Empire

2012-01-09T10:48:00.001-08:00

Any Empire by Nate Powell
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I don't know what I had in mind when I requested Any Empire. That it would be a cruel but yet funny comic book? That it would be about some kids having the adventure of their lives? Maybe. Nevertheless, I have to tell you that I'm awfully disappointed.

The look of the book is amazing; the art is beautiful and the inking is very well done. My problem doesn't lie here though. It's the story that made me not enjoy reading the novel. It's cruel and very strange. I reached a point when I was simply scrolling and looking at the images just for the sake of completing it.

I don't know who I would recommend this graphic novel to. I sincerely have no idea. If you're curious though, you can give it a try. Who knows, maybe you'll like it.

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Courtney Crumrin and The Night Things (Volume 1)

2012-01-08T06:11:00.001-08:00

Courtney Crumrin and The Night Things by Ted Naifeh
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Courtney Crumrin and The Night Things is one of those graphic novels that catches your attention from page one. The artwork is amazing through its simplicity; the characters are unique, and the story is fascinating.

I really got attached to Courtney, and I’ll admit that I’m jealous of her. I wish I could live in her world... Any person should have his or her own monster buddies, don’t you think?

My only problem was the lack of coloring that started since page 36. However, since the story is truly amazing this didn’t decrease the quality of the novel. I’m honestly looking forward to reading more of this series.

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The Wedding Bargain (Effingtons #1)

2012-01-06T06:29:00.000-08:00

The Wedding Bargain by Victoria Alexander
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This one’s for Madu’s Birthday! Yes, it’s a birthday read! Hurray!!!!

I’m sorry I’ll f*ck this one up Madu. I tried to like it but… I didn’t O_O

So the question of the day is: what is The Wedding Bargain about? Even an idiot can answer this question. Yes, it’s about a freakin’ wedding bargain. However, let me tell you the story in a better way. Behold the dialogue!

Max: I love you Pandora, you’re the hottest girl out there. Let’s get married!

Pandora: No Max, you’re an idiot, and I hate you. I want a hero. You’re gay.

M: Even so, we’re meant to be together. We’re soul mates. I’ve already knitted matching socks for both of us. We’ll wear them while making love so that our feet will be nice and warm. This way we’ll avoid thinking about how stupid and cold we are.

P: No Max, I don’t want to marry you. Yes, I think you’re hot, and I touch myself at night while thinking about you, but I still won’t marry you.

M: Hey Pandora, how about I stick my tongue down your throat and touch your privates. Would you want me then?

P: *gasps* Oh Max I love you now! Let’s make our genitals touch so we could always remember this special moment!

M: On second thought... You seemed hotter with your clothes on. Score on seeing you naked! Wait until my friends hear about this!

P: *cries* Daaaaad Max is making fun of me again!

~ The End ~

That’s probably how I look while reading the wonderful books that belong to the Historical Romance genre. And I’ve always wondered why people stare at me in a strange way while I’m reading these in public. Now I have my answer.

You know what would make HRs ~~more~~ fun? Dinosaurs!

Now that would be a book I’d read!

Anyway, The Wedding Bargain is a very boring book. Idiotic even. But Pandora does own a pistol. That would make it more exciting, right?

I have another point to add. I really hate this thing they’re always using in these books. He was the most eligible bachelor. The most handsome and most virile. And he had the hots for only one extremely annoying and boring woman: our heroine. Guess what? This only happens in the mind of naive girls who are still expecting Prince Charming on a white horse to sweep them off their feet and elope or something. Well guess what? Sh*t like this doesn’t happen. These dudes will never waste time on normal girls. They’re overly busy banging bimbos and porn stars, getting drunk and high, and spending money on horribly expensive things. So quit daydreaming about this sh*t because you’re too old for it!

*ugh* totally stupid useless god give me patience with these books!!! *ugh*

Ok I’m calm now… *clears throat* I'm terribly sorry but not one's cup of teah, old boy.

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Avalon Chronicles Volume 1: Once in a Blue Moon

2012-01-05T11:53:00.001-08:00

Avalon Chronicles Volume 1: Once in a Blue Moon by Nunzio DeFilippis
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I wasn’t extremely impressed with this. My problem was mainly the story being quite predictable, a bit boring and to be honest also silly. Maybe it would work for a teenage girl. If you want an action-packed comic book, then you should probably avoid reading it.

So this being the bad let’s move to the positive stuff. I think the graphics were pretty decent, the only thing that was missing being the coloring. I guess that would give the whole novel a better personality and would probably make it more amiable.

I finished this in about an hour in between work, so I don't think it was such a waste of time. It's worth giving a try if you have some free time.

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Firelight (Darkest London, #1)

2012-01-05T08:48:00.000-08:00

Firelight by Kristen Callihan
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

So check this out. One day I was just browsing through netGalley. As you know, most of the books there are cheesy, weird or sucky. Usually I go through the Sci-Fi/Fantasy category because from time to time it gets some cool stuff. Anyway, so I’m going through this, and I see a wonderful fiery cover. And I say what the hell, request the b*tch! So yeah, my main reason for reading this is the damn cover. Congrats cover artist! You managed to trick me!

It could have been worse. At least I enjoyed the book. Yes, my kids, it’s a good book. Follow me if you want to ~~live~~ get more rambling about it.

What can I say about Firelight? My notes are a mess so I’m trying to make the best of it. The first thing I noticed when starting the book is Kristen Callihan’s amazing-omg-drop-dead writing style. I mean whoaaaaah. Really really impressive! Just check this out:

His green house. A little glass jewel hidden away on the roof of the house. The rain rattled hard upon the glass, streaking and pebbling, hiding the world from view. It was kinder here, warm and humid. Filled with potted fruit trees and velvet roses, their fresh scent as thick as the air.

And

Emptiness pressed upon him as he made his way home. He wanted to collapse, crumple into a helpless ball against the pain of it. Murder tainted his skin and pounded through his veins like a drug, whispering for more; he was losing the battle.

If you’re not impressed then gtfo because these here are some mouth-watering quotes!

And speaking of mouth-watering let me introduce you to Lord Archer. Or Lord Benjamin Aldo Fitzwilliam Wallace Archer, Fifth Baron Archer of Umberslade to be precise.

She lifted her eyes to his face, or where it ought to be. Carved with a Mona Lisa smile upon its lips, a black hard mask like one might wear at Carnival stared back. Beneath the mask, his entire head was covered in tight black silk, offering not a bit of skin to view.

He is a mix between V

And the Phantom

He goes more towards the Phantom is you ask me. There are actually many similarities between these two characters. Plus I liked to imagine Archer as Gerald’s version of the Phantom. *sighs*

The man in the black mask seemed to stand alone, apart from everything.

His voice was a phantom, haunted and alone.

“I don’t want pity.” He glared at the stern visage of the Greek centaur before them. “I’d rather have fear.”

I have a thing for ugly scarred guys. I think beauty is overrated. Sue me.

*clears throat*

I have only one problem with Archer. He makes me go like this

Everybody lies. And many freaky things are going on. I wanted answers and I wasn’t getting them.

What is he? Hulk? Is he a god who got banished on earth for seducing a virgin? A mighty hero reborn a century too late? Is he an alien from a distant planet? Or the soul of the planet itself set free to kill as many people as possible in order to avoid the creation of the vile killer plastic? Save the seagulls! Destroy all the plastic!

Wtf are you Archer?? Tell me now!

*clears throat*

Uhm what else?

Miranda. Miss Miranda Ellis, firestarter extraordinaire. You have to admit that it has a nice ring to it. Too bad this element wasn’t put to proper use. It had a few good scenes, but I think it could have worked better than this. However, at least I admit that Miranda is not boring like the usual heroines you find in Historical Romances. I know I picked on this before, and I will never stop. I can’t stand chicks that run around hunting for a husband and waste all their day shopping or knitting or god knows what other stupid activities. Why would I want to read a story about that? So thank you Paranormal Romance for existing in this book. You made completing it without skimming, skipping or dnf-ing possible.

Why am I not giving this a higher score? Because something seems to be missing in the story. I didn’t feel happy with the ending, many things felt unfinished, and the epilogue was weird. But I’ll surely read the next book in the series. Kristen Callihan really impressed me, so I’ll be ~~stalking~~ reading her stuff asap.

Actual score: 3.5

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Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices #2)

2011-12-31T22:45:00.000-08:00

In the magical underworld of Victorian London, Tessa Gray has at last found safety with the Shadowhunters. But that safety proves fleeting when rogue forces in the Clave plot to see her protector, Charlotte, replaced as head of the Institute. If Charlotte loses her position, Tessa will be out on the street and easy prey for the mysterious Magister, who wants to use Tessa's powers for his own dark ends.

With the help of the handsome, self-destructive Will and the fiercely devoted Jem, Tessa discovers that the Magister's war on the Shadowhunters is deeply personal. He blames them for a long-ago tragedy that shattered his life. To unravel the secrets of the past, the trio journeys from mist-shrouded Yorkshire to a manor house that holds untold horrors, from the slums of London to an enchanted ballroom where Tessa discovers that the truth of her parentage is more sinister than she had imagined. When they encounter a clockwork demon bearing a warning for Will, they realize that the Magister himself knows their every move and that one of their own has betrayed them.

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I hated this book (60%), than I liked it (30%), and then I loved it (10%).

The Black:

The most dreadful part of this series is the love triangle (which is, ironically, the most loved as well). I have an honest question, and I geniunely want to know the answer as well: Why do YA authors feel the need to include a love triangle? Why?

Back to Clockwork Prince; the Will-Tessa-Jem love triangle is quite possibly the worst I have ever had the misfortune of coming across.

There are several ways to make a love triangle in YA work:

1. Make the girl extremely easy to love and respect. To the point where it's plain as day why so many guys would find her attractive. [Successful example = Vampire Academy]
2. Make the girl romantically inclined towards one guy, but also seeing the appeal of the second. This works because that's pretty much how the readers will be viewing the love interests as well. [Successful example = Unearthly]
3. Make the girl independent, for Pete's sake! If she isn't as needy, the readers will most probably forgive her indecisiveness to an extent. [Successful example = The Hunger Games]

Needless to say, none of the above is the case here. Tessa is the most ordinary girl in the world, yet these two amazing, extraordinary guys fall instantly in love with her, of all people? And while I don't blame Tessa for being perfectly normal, I do blame Clare for not wooing me with her personality. If she's amazing enough to make two unflappable boys fall for her, why couldn't she make me at least like her? And in all fairness, I'm not a tough person to please.

So please, I beg you, omit the overdone love triangles. The girl will survive even if she doesn't have more than one boy besotted with her. I'm just so sick and tired of all these teenage boys being tormented by their past, those stupid normal girl coming and changing their lives, and everyone living HEA (sure, it hasn't happened yet, but this is YA, so it's practically a given, no?).

The Gray:

1. The plot is extremely unique and hugely entertaining. Pity it only appears after crossing the 300-page mark. All the drama and suspense regarding Mortmain and Benedict is thoroughly captivating, but again, I wish the focus had been more on the plot rather than the clichéd romance.

2. The characters also fit into this category. I like Will well enough, but he doesn't exactly impress me. His entire persona screams, "Been there, known him." In other lives, he's been Jace, Adrian, Patch, etc etc. So I like him, but I don't love him. I certainly won't be gushing about him anytime soon.

Jem barely registers on my radar. He's dull enough to be a side character, but Clare and Tessa are seriously determined about giving him a starring role. He's likable, but how can anyone be so blind? Tessa isn't the most subtle character in the book, and it's almost laughable that he didn't notice her feelings for Will.

And Tessa. Let's just say that the only times I've liked her are when she's quoting a passage, and end it at that.

The White:

1. The love that's usually reserved for main characters in books is devoted to nearly all the side characters in The Infernal Devices. Sophie, Charlotte, Henry, Gideon, are all fascinating characters, but we all know who the main delight is: Magnus Bane. How could I ever express how much I adore this mysterious warlock?

2. The writing is amazing! Clare has a real talent for bringing her story and characters to life. The quotations that appear at the beginning of every chapter also demonstrate how well thought-out and developed her books are. And despite the fact that I didn't enjoy this book all that much, I still can't stop myself from constantly thinking about it. Even if I don't like them, my mind keeps going back to the characters, wondering what problem is going to come up next. That alone says enough about Clare's writing prowess.

Favorite Quotes:

I feel myself diminished, parts of me spiraling away into the darkness, that which is good and honest and true—If you hold it away from yourself long enough, do you lose it entirely? If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?

If you are gone, there is no one in the world who cares if I am dead or alive. I feel myself dissolving, vanishing into nothingness, for if there is no one in the world who cares for you, do you really exist at all?

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Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices, #2)

2011-12-30T09:57:00.000-08:00

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Cassandra Clare did it again! She single-handedly managed to bore me to death!

I don’t want to sound like a crybaby (and I will try my best not to) but Clockwork Prince gets the Disappointment Award of 2011. After seeing so many 5-star reviews (I will never learn, will I?) I had so many high hopes. Since it happened with A Monster Calls why wouldn’t it with this one also? Maybe because Patrick Ness is a good author and Cassandra Clare isn’t. I’m just saying.

My expectations weren’t that high by the way. I was just looking for a great adventure filled with good characters, emotional moments and a bit of love. And speaking of love, I was praying not to have a love triangle. But I’ll get to that later.

The beginning of Clockwork Prince is BORIIING! But hey I managed to get through it thinking that it’s just a prologue to the total awesomeness that everyone is talking about.

Guess what?

It isn’t.

The whole f*cking book is boring. Oooor… at least the percentage I managed to finish. I wasn’t skipping pages. Oooooh no, I was skipping chapters. Whole chapters full of useless blabbering. I even failed to identify the damn story. Should I check the summary to find it out or what?

Oooh and wait ‘till you hear this! The bad dude’s parents are dead and he blames it on the Shadowhunters. Not all people dress as bats and fight crime during the night after their parents got killed. Nu-huuuh. They go chasing young girls in order to marry them. In the name of science! That’s just creepy! He wants her for her powers. Bullsh*t, just ask Pedobear why he wants her.

Anyway my point is that this part of the story seems a weeee bit unoriginal. They’re looking for Mortmain for like 25% of the book and all of the sudden Jem gets a sudden, but silly, idea and what do you know? He was right. Next thing you know the damn Joker will be in the book killing people. Not that I would mind it or anything.

And speaking of unoriginal, am I the only one who thinks that this series is too similar to The Mortal Instruments? I know they’re related but it feels like the characters and plot have too many similarities.

But it could be just me.

Or not.

And another problem now.

I simply can’t get myself o like Tessa. I have no idea why and I won’t waste my time even trying to find a reason. I’ll leave it like that. Tessa meh, Jem meh, Will cool when he’s not too emo (obviously Cassandra Clare has a thing for tortured heroes), and Magnus yum when he’s not gay.

The ~~nonexistent~~ story meh, the villain meh.

I want more creepy contraptions running around killing people. I want more blood and suffering. I want less teenage drama. If I wanted teenage drama I’d turn on the TV on Thursdays and watch The Vampire Diaries. So please cut the crap.

And so we reach my final, and worst, problem. The love triangle. Probably every teenage girl’s wet dream is to have two hot guys fight over her. Freakin’ losers. I hate hate HATE love triangles and hate the stupid girls who love them even more. This was the thing that made me stop reading the book and the series as well.

So goodbye The Infernal Devices! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

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Forbidden Magic (Magic #1)

2011-12-27T02:07:00.001-08:00

Forbidden Magic by Cheyenne McCray
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Forbidden Magic is another book that will end up in the trash. Or cut into little tiny pieces. Or a pillow for a homeless person.

Why? Good question my friend. Forbidden Magic is similar to playing a RPG game on beginner mode. Everything is just too easy.

Kid: Hey look mom! *wiggles fingers* I just opened a black hole that’s going to eat the planet and kill us all!
Mom: Great work dear. Now come on in, dinner’s getting cold.

In the next moment she ran her hand down in the air before her face, drawing a glamour around herself and disappearing from human sight.

Biting her lower lip in concentration, Silver flicked one finger in the air, sending her magic to do her bidding. In the next second she heard the rusty scrape of metal against wood as the latch unfastened.

Just like watching The Disney Channel. Add the typical lust at first sight and we have a cheesy book!

He was one of the most gorgeous men she'd ever seen. A man who made her heart pound, and fire burn in her blood.

I swear I’ll stop continuing any book that has this lust at first sight crap in it. I’m just sick of it!

Another thing that bothered me is the unoriginality of the story and environment. Everything is typical! It’s a sad boring book. And the author is actually trying her best to add depth to the story. Ooooooh yes, she tries so hard. Information Overflow Achievement unlocked!

I actually couldn’t even skim the book till the end. That’s how sad it is. And disgustingly pornographic.

Before I forget. If any chick (witch or whatever) mentions the word “Goddess” during fear, worry, surprise or awe I will punch the b*tch in the face.

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Lola and the Boy Next Door

2011-12-25T22:36:00.000-08:00


	Budding designer Lola Nolan doesn’t believe in fashion . . . she believes in costume. The more expressive the outfit -- more sparkly, more fun, more wild -- the better. But even though Lola’s style is outrageous, she’s a devoted daughter and friend with some big plans for the future. And everything is pretty perfect (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the dreaded Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood. When Cricket -- a gifted inventor -- steps out from his twin sister’s shadow and back into Lola’s life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door.
	Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins My rating: 5 of 5 stars

***FAVORITE ROMANCE OF 2011***

Note: This does not qualify as a proper review. It is simply me fangirling about my ~~latest~~ only love, Cricket Bell.

If I’m the stars, Cricket Bell is entire galaxies.

This book!! This perfect, wondrous, amazing book! I love it so so much! A quarter of that is because of the story, a quarter because of Lola, and half because of Cricket Graham Bell. He is just so sweet! And innocent, loyal, caring, and downright adorable!! Hell, he's even cuter than this, and I don't say that lightly:

And much as I would love to ~~kidnap~~ take Cricket away from Lola, his love for her is what I love the most about him. The way he pines after her, gets hurt whenever she does, takes care of her, does her hair, just who he is when he's around her makes me wanna cry and gush at the same time.

“So you believe in second chances?” I bite my lip.
“Second, third, fourth. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. If the person is right,” he adds.
“If the person is . . . Lola?”
This time, he holds my gaze. “Only if the other person is Cricket.”

So there. I love this book, I love Cricket, and I love Stephanie Perkins for creating such a sweetheart. And just for the record, the cover fits Lola and Cricket perfectly. I love that, too.

And the first person to tell me the number of times I used the word "love" in this review can help themselves to my personal stash of chocolates.

Favorite Passage:

“Once upon a time, there was a girl who talked to the moon. And she was mysterious and she was perfect, in that way that girls who talk to moons are. In the house next door, there lived a boy. And the boy watched the girl grow more and more perfect, more and more beautiful with each passing year. He watched her watch the moon. And he began to wonder if the moon would help him unravel the mystery of the beautiful girl. So the boy looked into the sky.

But he couldn’t concentrate on the moon. He was too distracted by the stars.

And it didn’t matter how many songs or poems had already been written about them, because whenever he thought about the girl, the stars shone brighter. As if she were the one keeping them illuminated.

One day, the boy had to move away. He couldn’t bring the girl with him, so he brought the stars. When he’d look out his window at night, he would start with one. One star. And the boy would make a wish on it, and the wish would be her name.

At the sound of her name, a second star would appear. And then he’d wish her name again, and the stars would double into four. And four became eight, and eight became sixteen, and so on, in the greatest mathematical equation the universe had ever seen. And by the time an hour had passed, the sky would be filled with so many stars that it would wake his neighbors. People wondered who’d turned on the floodlights.

The boy did. By thinking about the girl."

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Unholy Ghosts (Downside Ghosts, #1)

2011-12-25T04:00:00.000-08:00

Unholy Ghosts by Stacia Kane
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

The most relevant things you need to know about Unholy Ghosts

A bunch of self-loathing funny talking drug addicts being chased by evil red eyed ghosts in a dirty religionless futuristic city. Nicotine, drugs, ghosts and a freakin’ love triangle. Hip hip hurrah!

This book was very difficult for me to read because of my lack of interest in all of these things. It’s just weird. I actually like weird things, there’s nothing more entertaining than watching a bunch of crazy people wearing their underwear over their heads and acting like The Avengers. Downside Ghosts is weird in an omg wtf kind of way. But people like it so good for them. Me? Meh. Not my kind of series.

Yes that means that I won’t give it a second chance.

No, I won’t change my mind.

Yes, it does suck that much.

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A Monster Calls

2011-12-25T03:59:00.003-08:00

A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The monster showed up just after midnight. As they do.

I‘ve been ~~stalking~~ looking for A Monster Calls for quite a while. All those great reviews got to my head and I was so damn curious to see what all the fuss was about.

And then I finally got the hardcover.

And then I started reading it.

And then holy f*ck mother that is good and shiny. Wtf is this book??? I’m being mindraped. I have no words to express my feelings. I guess this will do

This book looks amazing. It’s actually one of the best looking books I’ve ever seen. The artist is a freakin’ genius! So please, for your sake, don’t you dare buy the version without illustrations! Don’t you freakin’ dare!

Apart from the extra stars that I was going to give A Monster Calls only for its looks we have the heartbreaking story. You would think this is a horror book. I know I did. And I was wrong! It’s actually a very good lesson on human nature and such a wonderful experience. So if you’re a pansy (don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone) you have nothing to fear. You can go ahead and throw all those flashlights and broom handles that were supposed to defend you against the Boogeyman. But get your tissues ready.

Anyway, I’ll try not to ramble or make too many noises. My review ends here. All I have to add is that this book is stunning and buying it was one of the best decisions I’ve made this year. Five stars are not enough for rating it.

Favorite quotes

Who am I? the monster repeated, still roaring. I am the spine that the mountains hang upon! I am the tears that the rivers cry! I am the lungs that breathe the wind! I am the wolf that kills the stag, the hawk that kills the mouse, the spider that kills the fly! I am the stag, the mouse and the fly that are eaten! I am the snake of the world devouring its tail! I am everything untamed and untameable! It brought Conor up close to its eye. I am this wild earth, come for you, Conor O’Malley.

Stories are wild creatures, the monster said. When you let them loose, who knows what havoc they might wreak?

“What did you do to help the invisible man?” And he felt the monster’s voice again, like it was in his own head. I made them see, it said.

As incredible as it seemed, time kept moving forward for the rest of the world. The rest of the world that wasn’t waiting.

You do not write your life with words, the monster said. You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you do.

Personal notes

I finally bought this! Thank you stupid cafe in Cairo for not having a bathroom and making me use the one at the wonderful bookshop I stopped by!

Ooh how I love the monster. Why can’t I get a visit from one? Only mine should be eleven stories tall and it would probably be a palm tree.

Must...not...cry...

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10,000 Zombies: Create More than 10,000 Zombies and 10,000 Stories

2011-12-25T03:59:00.002-08:00

10,000 Zombies: Create More than 10,000 Zombies and 10,000 Stories by Alexander Cox
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’d like to thank my wonderful fiancé for giving me this book as a gift. It is AMAZING. The stories are not the most interesting things on the surface of the planet but the artwork is badass. I’m a big fan of David Hartman and I have to say that I wasn’t disappointed. Plus a foreword by Rob Zombie. Rob-freakin’-Zombie! Big fan of him also. See how easy I am to buy? Goddammit!

I’m doing the next thing for the people who don’t know how the book goes.

So you have a page divided (and I mean divided as in cut into pieces) into three parts

Which can be combined endlessly!

So much fun! It makes me feel like I’m a kid again. But better because I’m playing with zombies! I’m a mad scientist!

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Immortal Rider (Lords of Deliverance, #2)

2011-12-25T03:59:00.001-08:00

Immortal Rider by Larissa Ione
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I’ve been waiting for months for Immortal Rider. I kept on stalking Larissa Ione’s blog, me being such a big fan and all, watching her news, avoiding spoilers and so on. Finally I managed to get the book and the time to read it.

The question of the day would be: Am I happy with this book? Was it everything I was hoping for? Did I do the happy dance after finishing it?

No.

*review ends here*

.

.

.

Nah, hold your horses people, of course I’m not done with ~~f*cking up~~ reviewing the book. Of course I have to ramble about it for at least 15 minutes. That’s the way I work.

What is my problem you ask? First of all the story sucks balls. Yes, balls. Listen to this:

We have a little horseperson, Limos. She’s a badass warrior who dresses like a Hawaian reject and always smells like coconut. I presume so far that even her sweat smells like coconut. I didn’t want to get into intimate details with this so let’s just stop with sweat. Ok so she meets the hot dude Arik. He’s a human of course. You will never have two badass warriors hooking up; things would be too easy then. No fun in things being too easy. So after they kiss the dude ends up in Hell and gets tortured for a month. He escapes and forgives the chick just because she’s hot. Bla bla bla flirting oral sex bla bla bla. Then we find out that (I’ll put this in bold because it’s priceless) she is wearing a chastity belt and only her husband can remove it. The funny thing is that this is not the best part of it. Hold on, I’m getting to it. So apart from the chastity belt

we have the following: she is betrothed to Satan (yes, freakin’ Satan) and he wants her fresh and untouched. You guessed it right. UNTOUCHED. AKA a virgin. So she needs someone to take away her maidenhood and save her from being raped by Satan.

Ok so after you’ve read this what’s your opinion on Immortal Rider? I don’t know if I should laugh or cry. I mean this is a joke! I can’t process it… *facepalm*

Second (remember the first - up there somewhere), the characters suck. Limos is not my favorite horseman and Arik is just… meh. Nothing special about him, don’t like him don’t hate him. He just exists. Period.

So sucky story and meh characters = bad book and me punching a kid in the face. See what you made me do Mrs. Ione? See what you made me do??

*clears throat*

So yeah, saying that I’m having issues with this book is an understatement.

There’s actually something I liked about Immortal Rider and if I’m not wrong I said this about Eternal Rider as well. I loved Wraith, Thanatos and (surprisingly) Regan. They’re the main reason for me not giving it two stars.

So the conclusion? I’m totally neutral about this. I won’t say I hate it because I still like Larissa Ione but it’s the last chance I’m giving her. One more ~~mistake~~ book like this and I’m blowing everything up!

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Atlas of the World's Strangest Animals

2011-12-25T03:57:00.002-08:00

Atlas of the World's Strangest Animals by Paula Hammond
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really liked this book, it was an interesting read. I’m going to list my favorite creepy animals that can, of course, be found in the atlas.

Top5 freaky creatures

5. Big Brown Bat

4. Naked Mole Rat

3. Anglerfish

2. Tarsier

1. Three-toed Sloth

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Talk Me Down (Tumble Creek, #1)

2011-12-25T03:57:00.001-08:00

Talk Me Down by Victoria Dahl
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

When he put his hands on his hips, she could see his big gun, and not the big gun she was interested in, either.

And so starts my most wonderful adventure into Hornyland. That’s right folks. Don’t miss this chance for nothing in the world! This book is a must-read!

*sarcasm ends here*

.

.

.

What. The. F*ck.

.

.

.

Seriously.

Another book involving a horny city girl and a pansy village guy. Nothing new to see here. No humor, no story, no character development. Only stupidity thrown around in order to fill in 200-whatever pages. Oh the joy!

I was actually planning to enjoy this, you know. Maybe even compare it to Susan Elizabeth Phillips’ books. Laugh a bit, wipe a tear from my eye, that sort of thing. What did I get? Anger and a bad case of bleeding eyes!

The conclusion? Everyone in this book is an idiot!

My dear book how I wish you were this plastic cup

So I could crush you!

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Millenium, #1)

2011-12-25T03:55:00.001-08:00

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

What have I become? Reading a book because it’s all over Goodreads and IMDB. And using a Disney gif for that matter. Cheap bastard. I actually saw this is the best novels list or something like that so ha! Take this people who judge me! I am not cheap! I just think that lists and people who make them are cool!

I liked the book in the beginning because it felt unique and fascinating. Then I got close to its half and it got full of drama. Useless boring drama. And I’m talking mostly about Mikael and Cecilia (I guess that’s her name. Damn you Swedish names!! I’m having a tough time remembering you!). The drama I actually fell into was Lisbeth’s.

Speaking of my dear Lisbeth, she is one of the best (if not the best) female characters I’ve ever met so far. One, she’s a freakin’ genius. Two, I love her looks. Three, she’s badass. I liked her even more after she castrated the bitch who was raping her. And beat the sh*t out of that damn psycho rapist.

I love you Lisbeth!

Back to my point.

It’s not a perfect book; I would remove certain parts from it. That’s why I’m taking one star from the rating. BUT!

lol wtf

BUT it’s f*cking amazing. Stieg Larsson is sick and I need to read more of his books. Crazy Swedish people.

I’m so glad I didn’t wait for the movie to be out before starting this. It would probably make me love it less. The trailer has been out for a while and I have been trying my best to avoid watching it. I promised myself that I will watch it and check out pictures for the movie after I’m done with the book. I’m proud to say that I did it. I only knew that Daniel Craig will be playing Mikael Blomkvist. You just can’t miss it when this guy appears in a movie. It’s all over the place.

Thoughts before watching the movie’s trailer
▪ Daniel Craig is a strange choice but I can see him work around the role.
▪ Some parts are a bit too boring to be used in a movie so I’m curious to see how they’ll pull it off and how much of it will be changed/cut out.
▪ I want Lisbeth to be badass. I hope they choose a badass actress.

Thoughts after watching the trailer
▪ Daniel Craig is actually a very good choice.
▪ Lisbeth's image in the movie is waaaay creepier than what I had in mind. That’s probably why I can’t stop staring at her pictures.

▪ Bleached eyebrows. Damn, why didn’t I think of that?
▪ Loved the trailer. I’m really looking forward to this movie.

Personal thoughts that won’t be private after clicking the "save" button
▪ I’ve been reading this for a week. I hate taking so long to finish a book. But it was a fun distraction on the bus to Cairo. At least it kept me from watching those horrible Egyptian movies.
▪ Kitty killer, I will come for you and cut you. I will make it hurt.

Bonus content
Some cool images I’d like to share with you.

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Emily the Strange: The Lost Days (Emily the Strange Novels, #1)

2011-12-25T03:54:00.001-08:00

Emily the Strange: The Lost Days by Rob Reger
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Ugh this was supposed to be a good book! But of course I’m asking for too much.

I admit that I got this only because I’m in love with Emily and I felt ashamed for never actually reading one of her books. Plus our Goodreads group’s main image is of Emily. I like to have some insight on the stuff I use, you know.

So, what did I like? Emily’s sarcasm, the writing style, the book’s layout and all the cool images scattered all around.

What I didn’t like and what actually made me give it up? Boredom.Too much freakin’ boredom. I’m sorry but the story is not for me. I don’t know if it’s this book or the series itself, and frankly I’m not tempted to try another one, but the story is (forgive the pun) strange.

Soooo DNF my dear Emily. Things can never work out between us.

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River Marked (Mercedes Thompson, #6)

2011-12-25T03:53:00.001-08:00

River Marked by Patricia Briggs
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

*edit 22 Dec 2011*

No? Too much? Nevermind…

YES! Finally a great book! Finally a use for the mysterious walking stick!! Oh such a wonderful day! What a wonderful life!

Love Mercy
Love Adam
Love Coyote
Love Fishy Thing Creature

It just might be the best in the series.

P.S. Chris Hemsworth is so hot.

P.P.S.

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Flat-Out Sexy (Fast Track, #1)

2011-12-25T03:52:00.001-08:00

Flat-Out Sexy by Erin McCarthy
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

So why couldn’t she bring herself to like him? Because maybe somewhere deep inside her she still felt the need for speed. For excitement.

Uhm yes. Where do I begin?

You know those cheap books that are about the typical ~~love~~ sex story between the average looking woman looking for a lifetime commitment and the hottest guy on the planet running from it with all his might? Yes? Are you into them? No? Good. Then avoid this like Satan avoids holy water.

My problems with this book:
1. Cheesy
2. Painfully boring
3. Not funny
4. Terrible writing style
5. Stupid stupid stupid stupid

My reactions while reading Flat-Out Sexy
*hmph*
*yawn*
*wtf*
*omg my eyes started to burn*
*where’s the toilet paper?*

Other issues:
The chick is talking about her dead husband and the dude is trying his best to see what thongs she’s wearing. Since page 24.
Screwing from chapter two. Who needs a story anyway? Pornography pays very well.

Bottom line: horrible! Two chapters are enough for me.

P.S. The cover sucks balls.

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First Lady

2011-12-25T03:51:00.001-08:00

First Lady by Susan Elizabeth Phillips
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

*excitement excitement* new (for me) SEP book!

But wait… something’s happening – wait! What the hell are you doing? Kids?? Gah! Get them off my precious book! GET THEM OOOOOOOFF!!!!! *jumps out of the window*

*after one week in the hospital*

*cough* I’m ok, just minor injuries.

What the hell??? Why the kids my dear SEP? Why did you ruin the book??? Whyyyyyy????

In case you’re new to my awesome reviewing you must know one simple and important thing about me:

Go ahead. Ask me why!

Wh-

Why??? You dare ask me why??? I’ll tell you why! Kids are soul sucking demons! They will make you hurt, mock you, steal your food and pee on your favorite carpet! Plus they drool and stink. They pull your hair, pee on you, and vomit on your great grandma’s ashes! Vile disgusting creatures…

*end of emotional breakdown*

So yes, the main reason for my score is this. The other reasons will come after this awesome gif of molested cats!

Now what did I like about this book? *scratches chin* I liked Mat because he shared my kid hatred and he had some pretty good lines. But in the end he fell in love with them (the loser) so he’s surely not my favorite character. Lucy (surprise surprise) was actually my favorite because she f*cked everyone off. I respect that in a person. I also liked the typical awesomeness of SEP’s writing but unfortunately the story didn’t get to me. And that’s it with the likes!

Dislikes? Nealy unfortunately didn’t work for me. She was just too.. what word to use? Blah? Meh? Close enough. Her child trauma (baby killer or whatever she called herself – wtf??) was stupid and her character wasn’t defined enough. Same goes to Mat actually.

The story was too homey, jolly, patriotic and boring. Sadly… it just had a nice romantic part at the end but it still didn’t do the trick for me.

So that’s it! The neutral score for this one: three severed children heads. Muahahahahaha!!!

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Aftermath (Sirantha Jax, #5)

2011-12-25T03:24:00.001-08:00

Aftermath by Ann Aguirre
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

First of all I have to say that I’m never reading a book like this. 10 days - what the hell? And postponing it made me forget certain things/ thoughts so eventually I ended up giving it the neutral score: three.

I’m not sure if the book was good for you guys but it was strange for me. Whenever I’d start reading Aftermath something would happen. Vampires Suck playing on HBO, my PC needing to be formatted or moving to another freakin’ country (true story)! So of course I had to postpone reading in order to fix these things. Just like moths to a flame…

The start caught up with the wonderful decision of Jax leaving everything behind. Again. I still don’t see the reason why she did that. Can someone please enlighten me? (Answer: “To carry word of the shift in grimspace, so she could save as many lives as possible.” – meh!) I see this whole matter as Jax complicating everything (as usual). I really used to like this chick but the last two books ruined it for me. She’s getting more and more annoying. But anyway, I think she deserves everything that’s coming her way since she asked for it. Too bad I’m not so interested in this anymore. I think I lost my love for this series so waiting for the last book won’t be so difficult. And I’m not going to be excited about it, this I’m sure. I’ll read it, find out how it ends and celebrate.

Back to the point. Of course Jax will do something stupid at the end of the book. It’s a habit now… Wait… *getting to the final chapter* What did I tell you?

“How can love be so magnificent and still hurt this much?”
“I don’t know. Over the turns, I’ve asked myself the same thing.”

Because you’re all stupid, that’s why. Sacrifice in the name of love? You’re doing it wrong!

“Jax … you know how I said … before your trial—that I’d be there waiting? I always will be. Five turns. Ten. Twenty. There’s no one else for me. I live in hope that there will come a time when you’ll need no more wandering, and you’ll come home to me.”

And yet she had the balls to leave him. Now I don’t know if she’s that strong or that stupid.

March was no good either. First his decision to go nephew hunting, then settling down (which probably came one book too early for Jax) and then declaring his eternal love to a woman who always dumps him. WTF?! You’re cool about it March? You’ll waste all your life waiting for someone who will never settle down with you?

What I liked the most about the book? Vel. Yes, he’s still my favorite. His story with Adele was touching and his loyalty to Jax is worthy of some respect. I say some because of not liking the puppy eyed pansy he’s becoming around Jax. I hope they won’t ruin him in Endgame…

P.S. Killing Doc and Evie like that was not cool. Bad move IMHO.

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Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

2011-12-25T03:23:00.001-08:00

Hold Me Closer, Necromancer by Lish McBride
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This was one of those books which were very difficult to rate/review. It started with an unimpressive intro and turned into something very interesting. Since it impressed me to a certain extent I’ll start by mentioning the good aspects. It has brilliant humor, it’s very deep, emotional and unique, and the main character is one of the most real protagonists I’ve met so far. Plus there are many secondary characters that caught my attention. They weren’t at their peak unfortunately. Except for Brooke, the head thing was awesome. And, before I forget, I also liked the switch of POVs; it gave the book a dynamic feel.

Now that I’m done with the good parts let’s get to the more interesting aspects, aka the bad ones.

“Those who loved Anna Dressed In Blood (aka me) will love Hold Me Closer, Necromancer. That’s the line that made me get this book. Add also the cool synopsis and nice cover. So I was expecting something badass, of course, but in the end the only similarity is the male protagonist. This doesn’t mean that being an ADIB* fan will automatically make me like this. It’s false, at least from my POV. Don’t get me wrong, HMCN** is great but overall it didn’t reach my expectations. I wanted something gloomier, creepier, more emo if you must!

Another aspect that I didn’t like was the werewolves. Blame me for expecting a freakin’ bloody story filled with dead bodies! Yes, yes it had blood and bodies but it wasn’t enough. I wanted more, dammit! And the weres*** are like a pair of red boots on a businessman: too distracting and can’t be taken seriously. They made the book feel divided in two: one for Sam the other for Brid. In the end it got unified but the effect didn’t grow on me.

So, I can state that I didn’t adore HMCN but I really liked certain things. I didn’t hate it but some parts got me bored. So it’s totally mixed feelings about this one. I guess I’ll go with the middle thing for the rating: three stars. The series has potential so I’ll be on the lookout for the next book.

P.S. What’s this ”Psh” sound Sam makes? Is it not a sound? Is it a form of alien communication? Me confused..

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*ADIB - Anna Dressed In Blood
**HMCN - Hold Me Closer, Necromancer
***weres - werewolves

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Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

2011-12-25T03:22:00.000-08:00

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator by Roald Dahl
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

2011-12-25T03:21:00.003-08:00

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Love the story, loved the movie, love Tim Burton love the soundtrack.

This is one of my favorite songs from it:

Watch on Youtube

Why haven’t I read this sooner??? It’s such a wonderful book!

P.s. I’ve been trying to imagine Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka with a goatee.

*works her magic in PS*

Hmmmmm it’s just wrong O.o Let him be without the goatee please!

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Seduction & Scandal (The Brethren Guardians, #1)

2011-12-25T03:21:00.001-08:00

Seduction & Scandal by Charlotte Featherstone
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

WARNING: If you’re actually into this genre and want a serious review avoid this. There be demons ahead!

You may think I’ve lost my mind for reading this but there’s a reasonable explanation for it. I’m in the mood to make fun of something. My friend Aly, who’s a huge fan of historical romance novels, couldn’t finish this. So of course I did the obvious thing.

No, I didn’t kill it with fire you silly monkeys. I got the book and set out to read it just to make fun of it. You know, make the routine go away and all that.

It had nothing to do with the chick wanting to bang Death. Absolutely nothing to do with that.

So what I was expecting? Cults, necrophilia, suicide, curses and floating underwear. Of course I skimmed most of it (I can’t handle reading a historical romance without skimming) while hunting for some creepy scenes. What I got? A cheesy pun loving peeping tom Death and a desperate female novelist owning a sick imagination. Meh!

I actually found some pretty good stuff around here. Let’s have a look!

"Am I to die?" I asked, and he stopped, raised our joined hands to his mouth and gently kissed my knuckles.
"You are, my love, and in your sleep, you will become Death's bride."

*chokes on the apple she was eating*

Lord Black never emerged from his town house, which was across the street from her uncle's town house.

This reminds me:

It’s perfectly normal to mix things up; you’re an innocent girl after all. Good thing you have me to open your eyes *winks*

"Would you let me learn everything about you? Discover you as I want?"

Does that include a dissection?

"My lord—" she warned as he angled his head, lowering his mouth to hers.
"Black," he murmured, his lips brushing her cheek. "Just call me Black."

Wtf?!? Who in this world names her main character Black? That’s just lame..

Bla bla bla magical objects got stolen bla bla bla he who owns them will rule the world bla bla bla stupid story skim skim skim

I was expecting this to be more.. blasphemous. I’m really disappointed with this! I mean come on you had it right there! Why did you make Black be just a normal person who’s cursed or whatever the hell’s wrong with him?? No freaky events, just boredom *sighs*

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The Darkest Night (Lords of the Underworld, #1)

2011-12-25T03:18:00.000-08:00

The Darkest Night by Gena Showalter
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

The Darkest Night is a fun introduction to a new series (for me at least) that goes around demons, crazy people, violence, hot drooly (yes, I mean it as drool-y - it should be a word, it’s awesome) sex and extreme redecorating. But we all love crazy people don’t we? And violence. And sex. And hotties. Beats the hell out of watching Animal Planet.

Even though the book was a great read I found many problems regarding it. It stars with the typical PNR problem: the ease with which they hooked up. I’d like some more obstacles please! Then there’s the true love conquers all problem. They’ve known each other for a few days so true love is out of the question. What is it then? Lust? Desperation? Drugs? Noodles? You tell me.

I didn’t like Ashlyn because she is too dependent. First Macintosh* (lol) whatever his name and then Maddox. Plus she was always taking things too lightly. First Maddox has sex with her and then locks her up because he has stuff to do. What’s her reaction? She gets a wee bit angry and then says to herself "Meh, still want him, he’s hot". Not cool. And after being his captive she still falls for him. While this is a classic move for most romance novels, I have to admit that I don’t agree with it. You simply don’t fall for the assh*le who’s keeping you prisoner unless you’re into BDSM or something. Plus he’s a demon and he’s violent and creepy. He may be hot but still, come on! Exaggerated much?

Maddox is… special. Even though he has a wall punching problem, tends to destroy most things around him and is a serial killer, he’s pretty cool. I mean how often do you find a guy who knows how to repair stuff? And he’s hot. I mean duh! It’s PNR we’re talking about! Duh! And he like has powers and stuff. And he like kills people. And has a tattoo. I mean awesome, dude!

I’ve always wanted to be in the mind of a psychopath, there’s a certain depth to life in there. Let’s take some examples, shall we?

First there’s a typical “problem” between a husband and his wife.

Then there are some kids thrown along the way.

And finally the moments when you just sit back and relax.

(I could do this all day!) Yep. A pretty high chance of all this happening to the person marrying this guy.

Probably Maddox is like this because of sexual frustration. Once he gets laid properly his demon goes back to sleep.

Anyboob, the final score is 3.5 or 3.25 or 3.19999999999999. But that’s beside the point. The Darkest Night is a nice intro to what seems like a good series but it lacked action. As you know the action-eating monster living inside me needs to be fed so it wasn’t totally happy with the situation. Just one location and few to none proper action scenes don’t make a fun story. These warriors have potential so put ‘em to good use! Aaaaaaaaand it was a bit cheesy.

That’s it!

~The End~

P.S. Check out my Lord of the Underworld *wink* YUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!

P.P.S. A wise man once said: ”A butterfly tattoo on a guy can never be fierce. It can only be gay!”

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* Macintosh - a series of PCs designed, developed, and marketed by Apple

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5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth

2011-12-25T03:17:00.001-08:00

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth by Matthew Inman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Why would anyone punch a dolphin in the face? That’s the main reason why I bought this book. I need answers! Many many answers to stack in my answer box and hide it in my secret chamber. These answers will make me rule the world one day! Mark my words!

As always, The Oatmeal offers a great variety of comics that will make you fall off the chair, roll ten times on the carpet then probably suffer a heart attack and die. Yes, they’re THAT good. From Canadian pets to peeing like a champ, sucking at Facebook, failed hugs and preparing your pets for war. All these essential things are stacked up and ready to be discovered only by the brightest minds on the planet. So if you have brains and eyes (hands are optional) put them to good use!

P.S. I will quote the book in order to make myself clear:

I hope you like it. If not, I hope a large meteor finds its way across the universe and smashes directly into your crotch while you sleep.
Hugs and kisses!

P.P.S. Remember folks: RABIES NOT BABIES

BABAY!

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Devil to Pay (Night Huntress, #3.5)

2011-12-25T03:16:00.001-08:00

Devil to Pay by Jeaniene Frost
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

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Drink Deep (Chicagoland Vampires, #5)

2011-12-25T03:15:00.001-08:00

Drink Deep by Chloe Neill
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

~~~ Before I start I should let you know that I made a little “explanation corner” at the bottom of my review. I think I’ll start using this more since I use funky words most people don’t understand. So if you see a “*” or something know what you should go to the bottom of the page blah blah blah you get it, you’re smart kids ~~~

I can’t express how happy I am right now. No no, calm down people, I’m not happy because this book is awesome. I’m happy because I’m finally done with it. My fire needs more stuff to burn so this book will do wonderfully.

How to best describe Drink Deep? Boring, disappointing, skimfest*, filler, you name it. I can’t believe I was so excited over this *facepalm* but how could I have known? Can you blame my naivety? Plus everyone was excited about it and many people gave it high ratings, of course I was bound to fall into this horrible trap. Anyhow, if you don’t want to read more of my review, stop here. Be warned you demons, the bitchiness starts now. Proceed at your own cost!

So let’s start with my problems. One, there is the fact that everyone’s too cool about Ethan dying. Hell even I suffered more than the characters in this damn book. Suffer you bitches!! Your god is gone!! Yes I want to see him come back; yes I like him more than I like Merit. Have a problem with that?

Two, why is Merit not funny anymore? Was she ever funny? I don’t even remember... all I know is that right now she’s one cold-hearted (pun intended) bitch. She’s so excited about Jonah. What the hell? She should be running away from him like he’s the plague! Spit in his face, throw holy water on him, idk**! Something! And then the dude tells her that his feelings are totally platonic and she believes him. Platonic my ass, you can obviously see that he’s drooling over her and is probably mind-raping her as we speak! Her stupidity is beyond judgment…

Three, see image 1.

Four, why does this feel like the story being filled in just to cover a few more books? Oh wait, I have the answer for that. I’ve recently heard that there’s a contract on ten books for this series. Now I don’t know about you but I think that’s a pretty high number considering the series we’re talking about. Chicagoland Vamps isn’t complex enough to hold ten freakin’ books. This is book five and basically it’s total filler so guess what’s in store for us? Utter bullsh*t. *mumbles to herself* ten books pfff…

I actually don’t give a sh*t about the river turning black or the nymphs losing their magic or whatever. I want a relevant story, something that would interest me. This is not cool. That’s why I skimmed 70% of the book. Yes my dear kids, 70-f*cking-percent! Is this not a waste of time in your dictionary?

Five, it was too predictable. I was sure Mallory was responsible for all the creepy stuff going on. I didn’t like this of course, I see it as more filler to the pie. Also, the way Ethan came back wasn’t as dramatic as I thought it would be. I kept on expecting him to disappear and someone to pop up and scream ”April’s fools!” or something. But of course everything went back to normal in about 3 pages or so. *facepalm*

The ending was nice (not great, sadly) but it doesn’t make up for the rest of the book. If I wasn’t curious about Ethan I’d dnf*** this.

-----------------------------------------
*skimfest = a wonderful activity of skimming almost everything
**idk = I don’t know
***dnf = did not finish

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The Feast of Beauty

2011-12-25T03:14:00.001-08:00

The Feast of Beauty (Irish Fantasy Romance Novella) by Helen Scott Taylor
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

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Why Do Men Have Nipples?

2011-12-25T03:12:00.001-08:00

Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini by Mark Leyner
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The title made me choose this book. My expectations: death by laughter. But of course it wasn’t funny. As my friend Aly says, medicine isn’t funny. Some questions were interesting but most of them were plain ‘ol stupid!

WILL STARING AT AN ECLIPSE MAKE YOU GO BLIND?

Things to avoid staring at:
• a woman’s cleavage
• a large facial mole
• a couple making out in public
• the sun

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Happily Never After (Night Huntress, #1.5)

2011-12-25T03:10:00.000-08:00

Happily Never After by Jeaniene Frost
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

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The Shadow Reader (McKenzie Lewis #1)

2011-12-20T23:03:00.000-08:00


	There can only be one allegiance. It’s her time to choose. Some humans can see the fae. McKenzie Lewis can track them, reading the shadows they leave behind. But some shadows lead to danger. Others lead to lies. A Houston college student trying to finish her degree, McKenzie has been working for the fae king for years, tracking vicious rebels who would claim the Realm. Her job isn’t her only secret. For just as long, she’s been in love with Kyol, the king’s sword-master—and relationships between humans and fae are forbidden. But any hope for a normal life is shattered when she’s captured by Aren, the fierce and uncompromising rebel leader. He teaches her the forbidden fae language and tells her dark truths about the Court, all to persuade her to turn against the king. Time is running out, and as the fight starts to claim human lives, McKenzie has no choice but to decide once and for all whom to trust and where she ultimately stands in the face of a cataclysmic civil war.
	The Shadow Reader by Sandy Williams My rating: 5 of 5 stars

***FAVORITE UF/PNR OF 2011***

“This is ridiculous, Aren. I’m not Cinderella at a ball. And this...this isn’t going to win my support, not even my sympathy. I won’t—”

He places a finger over my lips. “I forget my responsibilities when I’m with you. It’s nice. Peaceful.” His hand slides behind my neck, beneath my hair. He plays with the clasp of my necklace. “I wish you’d let yourself forget things when you’re with me. You’d be happier.”

Rating Explanation:

+1 star for McKenzie. She's everything an excellent UF heroine should be, but still has her own spark that's unparalleled. She's human, strong, sensitive, sharp, and witty. I adore her! Especially how she stood up to Kyol and Aren. She doesn't let anyone, no matter how sexy, push her around, and I seriously respect her for it.

+1 star for Aren. Again, he's the typical male lead but still unique enough that he doesn't blend into the endless list of hot heroes. And am I the only one surprised that the "bad" guy actually won the girl in the end? It certainly makes for a great change, especially since I was rooting for him throughout.

+1 star for the acknowledgment of all the violence and killing that goes on during a war. Most UF/PNR series brush murder and killing off with nothing more than the twitch of a dagger, but I liked how McKenzie felt every death and did suffer for it. She's the farthest thing from wimpy, but at least she's human enough to hate taking lives, no matter how necessary.

+1 star for all the action. This book certainly doesn't give the reader a chance to calm down and think things through. It also doesn't suffer from the Dull Beginning Disease. The Shadow Reader is surprisingly fast-paced for a first book, and so many things happen that it could have easily been a standalone novel, but I love the characters so much that I'm definitely not complaining about this being a series.

+0.5 stars for Kelia and Naito. These two were just too cute! I love their romance and the whole Romeo and Juliet aspect of it. I wish there had been more of them in here. I choked up when Kelia got killed. If anyone, I was expecting Naito to be the one who died, so Kelia's death came as an especially strong and emotional shock.

+0.5 stars for Kyol. I blame him for making McKenzie wait so long, but it's nearly impossible to hate him. He's just too sweet. And do I see a potential pairing with him and Lena? Hmm...

-0.25 stars for McKenzie's indecisiveness towards the end. I'm glad she finally chose who she would be with, but the 70 or so pages before the last chapter were my least favorite and I didn't like McKenzie going back and forth between the two men.

4.75/5 stars

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Drink Deep (Chicagoland Vampires #5)

2011-11-22T23:30:00.000-08:00


	Clouds are brewing over Cadogan House, and recently turned vampire Merit can't tell if this is the darkness before the dawn or the calm before the storm. With the city itself in turmoil over paranormals and the state threatening to pass a paranormal registration act, times haven't been this precarious for vampires since they came out of the closet. If only they could lay low for a bit, and let the mortals calm down. That's when the waters of Lake Michigan suddenly turn pitch black-and things really start getting ugly. Chicago's mayor insists it's nothing to worry about, but Merit knows only the darkest magic could have woven a spell powerful enough to change the very fabric of nature. She'll have to turn to friends old and new to find out who's behind this, and stop them before it's too late for vampires and humans alike.
	Drink Deep by Chloe Neill My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Well. My one-book-brief love affair with this series has certainly come to an end.

Why Drink Deep is the greatest disappointment of 2011:

1. Story = Filler. Until the very last 2 chapters or so, most of the story is pretty much nonexistent and it's apparent that Neill tried (and failed, I might add) to build up the suspense about what will become of Ethan, and the "story" part of the book was simply added out of obligation. Really, NOTHING happens in Drink Deep. If you haven't yet read the book: save your time and energy, flip to the back, and read the epilogue. You won't have missed a single thing by skipping nearly 300 pages of the so-called story.

2. Characters = Immature. Everyone annoyed me, especially Merit. I've never been a huge fan of her, and I hated her even more in this book. She's so...cold and forced sometimes. It's like the author tried to make the perfect heroine with her perfect flaws, but she seems extremely unnatural and fake. I can never relate to her and I don't get why she's always interfering with matters without thinking them through and then acting like she has a personal right to everything that goes on in Chicago.

And despite loving Catcher and Mallory for the past several books, I hated even them in Drink Deep. Jeff remains my only constant love.

3. Plot = Boring. At one point, I was actually skipping pages. Not skimming, but simply skipping 2-5 pages at a time because of how utterly boring the entire book was. I had to force myself to finish this book, and only because I'd heard the ending was so epic. So much for that.

4. Ending = Desperate. I've said this time and again, but I hate resurrection and incarnation. It's always a coward's way out of a tricky situation, and I'm disappointed that Neill used that clutch. I'm not mad at Ethan for coming back, but if this was going to happen anyway, then why go through the huge drama with killing him in the first place? Why not do something else that's truly interesting and attention-capturing than killing off the hero only to bring him back in the next book?

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Updates 05 Nov 2011

2011-11-05T06:00:00.000-07:00

Book Reviews

see review

ZombieHazard

Alpha Instinct (Moon Shifter #1)

Wicked Intentions (Maiden Lane #1)

Call Me Irresistible (Wynette, Texas #6)

Hallowed (Unearthly #2)

Call Me Irresistible (Wynette, Texas #6)

Shades of Blood (Warriors of Ankh #3)

Dragon Actually (The Dragon Kin #1)

Angelfall (Penryn & the End of Days #1)

The Gamble (Colorado Mountain #1)

The Alchemy of Forever (Incarnation #1)

Delirium (Delirium #1)

Blood Past (Warriors of Ankh #2)

Seduce Me at Sunrise (The Hathaways #2)

Blood Will Tell (Warriors of Ankh #1)

Existence (Existence Trilogy #1)

Juliet Immortal (Juliet Immortal #1)

What I Did for Love (Wynette, Texas #5)

Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood (Assassin's Creed #2)

Can You Keep a Secret?

Magic Bites (Kate Daniels #1)

Five reasons why owning a Beast Lord would kick ass

The Girl Who Played with Fire (Millennium #2)

Bad Taste in Boys (Kate Grable #1)

Ember (Darkest London #0.5)

The Body Finder (The Body Finder #1)

Third Grave Dead Ahead (Charley Davidson #3)

Can You Keep a Secret?

I've Got Your Number

Cinder (Lunar Chronicles #1)

Shatter Me (Shatter Me #1)

The Last Dragon

Silver-Tongued Devil (Sabina Kane #4)

Bloodrose (Nightshade #3)

Bloodrose by Andrea Cremer

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Lothaire (Immortals After Dark, #12)

Firelight (Darkest London #1)

Shadow Heir (Dark Swan #4)

Chimichanga

The Manara Library Volume 1

Hades: Lord of the Dead (Olympians #4)

Bad Taste in Boys (Kate Grable #1)

Raven-1

Friends with Boys

Any Empire

Courtney Crumrin and The Night Things (Volume 1)

The Wedding Bargain (Effingtons #1)

Avalon Chronicles Volume 1: Once in a Blue Moon

Firelight (Darkest London, #1)

Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices #2)

Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices, #2)

Forbidden Magic (Magic #1)

Lola and the Boy Next Door

Unholy Ghosts (Downside Ghosts, #1)

A Monster Calls

10,000 Zombies: Create More than 10,000 Zombies and 10,000 Stories

Immortal Rider (Lords of Deliverance, #2)

Atlas of the World's Strangest Animals

Talk Me Down (Tumble Creek, #1)

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Millenium, #1)

Emily the Strange: The Lost Days (Emily the Strange Novels, #1)

River Marked (Mercedes Thompson, #6)

Flat-Out Sexy (Fast Track, #1)

First Lady

Aftermath (Sirantha Jax, #5)

Hold Me Closer, Necromancer

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Seduction & Scandal (The Brethren Guardians, #1)

The Darkest Night (Lords of the Underworld, #1)

5 Very Good Reasons to Punch a Dolphin in the Mouth

Devil to Pay (Night Huntress, #3.5)

Drink Deep (Chicagoland Vampires, #5)

The Feast of Beauty

Why Do Men Have Nipples?

Happily Never After (Night Huntress, #1.5)

The Shadow Reader (McKenzie Lewis #1)

Drink Deep (Chicagoland Vampires #5)

Updates 05 Nov 2011