Biting Cold (Chicagoland Vampires #6)

The Rift Walker (Vampire Empire, #2)

Biting Cold by Chloe Neill
Pub­lisher: Penguin Group
Pages: ebook, 273 pages
Series: Chicagoland Vampires
Pub­li­ca­tion date: August 7th 2012

Turned into a vampire against her will, twenty-eight-year-old Merit found her way into the dark circle of Chicago’s vampire underground, where she learned there was more to supernaturals than met the eye—and more supernaturals than the public ever imagined. And not all the secrets she learned were for sharing—among humans or inhumans.

Now Merit is on the hunt, charging across the stark American Midwest, tailing a rogue supernatural intent on stealing an ancient artifact that could unleash catastrophic evil on the world. But Merit is also the prey. An enemy of Chicagoland is hunting her, and he’ll stop at nothing to get the book for himself. No mercy allowed. No rules apply. No lives spared. The race is on.

“If you have a preferred god, Sentinel, I suggest you start praying. And soon.”

Pray that Neill will put this series out of its misery ASAP, that is.

First impressions
This is the last chance I’m giving Chicagoland Vampires. Screw this up and I’m out. Hell, I’m actually expecting a screw-up, but maybe it’s for the best. I don’t really feel like continuing this series anymore. All of this because of how things evolved between Merit, Ethan and Mallory. Well, when you put it that way it’s almost everyone in the book. So yeah, there you have it. I’m being dramatic, I know. Whatever.

The plot
Ethan is back from the dead and he isn’t a zombie. Yet. Mallory is still on the run, endlessly chasing after the big evil book, the Maleficium. Why is that? To publish another Chicagoland Vampires book. Duh! Merit and Ethan join forces, of course, to stop the evil bitch witch and after a bunch of useless events involving gnomes [I shite you not], a freaky Maleficium –induced binary fission and loads of teenage angst [yes, it’s Ethan] Mallory snaps out of her evil sleepwalking state and turns back into her old kind self. Yep, just like that. Oh yeah, and she repents through washing excessively oily Ukrainian dishes.

Yes Miss Neill, a worthy punishment for a person who switched to using black magic and almost destroyed the world is to wash dishes.

Even so, the danger is not over. The freaky binary fission produced another worthy enemy. An evil angel –

I’m sorry, but I can’t be serious when talking about this. First gnomes. And now angels. Getting desperate Miss Neill?

Anypoodle, as I was saying. Another enemy, a fallen angel, who – surprise, surprise – wants to destroy the world. Can these people get a bit more original? Everyone wants to destroy the world. Can’t they just threaten kittens with guns or something? Ugh. So yeah, he wants to destroy the world and our golden couple, Ethan and Merit, is the only hope this dear planet has.

My thoughts
Now this was a total waste of time. I’ll save you the bother of reading till the end and tell you now that I won’t be continuing the series. It’s obvious that Neill either lost her touch or is going through a bad state but the Chicagoland series is going to hell in a handcart.

I don’t give a shit about Merit’s relationship with Ethan anymore. I want a good story not a bunch of pages filled with useless romance. And that’s where my problem lies. The good story. I used to think that the whole evil witch thing was not nice. And now we get fallen angels. FALLEN FUCKING ANGELS! What are we in Disneyland? Throw in all the mythical creatures you can, I’m sure the peeps will love it.

No, the peeps won’t fucking love it! At least not me! And twin brothers? One good one evil? Cheesy much?

Apart from the angel issue I got hit in the head with how slow and boring the book’s pace is. Action scenes? No thank you, we should totally focus on Ethan’s emo phase because emo guys are SOOOO popular these days.

Emo my ass.

Merit and Ethan’s relationship weakened dreadfully. I don’t feel the passion between them; I am not interested in them getting together even. This is totally going to happen, btw. It’s TOO obvious. Merit will never go for the other guys. Why? Because they are better than Ethan. It’s a book rule. Chicks never go for the obvious choices. They go for the emo ones.

Mallory’s redemption was also pure filling. Her sole purpose was to bring Ethan back, since Neill was out of better ideas. She served it and now she’ll get back to normal. Mark my words.

I was going to give it two stars but the twin-Tates incident is why I’m removing one star from my rating. The absurdity stupidity of it is too high to be forgiven.

A short conclusion
Biting Cold is full of tasteless romance and the story is not good enough to make up for all the other weak points. Which are far too many. I can’t begin to express how disappointed I am with it. I was hoping to give Chicagoland Vampires a second chance but Biting Cold sealed the deal. I won’t be continuing the series anymore. My advice for Chloe Neill, four words: just kill it already.

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