Atlanta would be a nice place to live, if it weren’t for magic…
Five reasons why owning a Beast Lord would kick ass
1. Getting dinner has never been this easy. I always have a hard time finding a good place to order my food from. Order, yes, since I’m too lazy to go out sometimes. Having a Beast Lord with me could save the day. Think of eating some yum roast whenever you want. You just say “Hey Curran, don’t you feel like eating some rabbit?” and he just goes and gets it for you. Freshest rabbit out there and it’s all yours.
Nah, I kid the rabbit catching thing. I could never eat rabbits, they’re too cute. I’m actually talking about that awesome restaurant that’s at the end of the city and doesn’t deliver to my street because I’m too far away. The lazy bastards! So I can just send my Beast Lord to fetch it for me since he needs a stretch of legs. Fastest delivery ever!
2. Lose weight like a boss. Sometimes all that chocolate I eat goes all the way to my ass. My husband might like it but I still like to fit in my favourite pair of jeans! Here’s where my Beast Lord comes in for the rescue. Beast Lords need to eat a lot. And I mean A LOT. Since I can’t afford to pay so much for food I’ll simply give him half of what I’m eating. And what do you know? I’ll probably be underweight in less than a week. What fun!
3. Redecorate your house every month. With all that running around it’s inevitable not to get casualties.
Curran: “Look! Squirrel!” – there goes my new lamp
Curran: “Look! Ball!”- there goes my new couch
Curran: “AAAAAA! Vacuum!”- there goes my living room
4. Be the most fashionable girl out there. Did you know that Beast Lords have the best sense of fashion? Yes they do! And since they’re such sweethearts they share everything they know with their owners.
I always have a hard time finding what to wear when I go out. I keep staring at my closet and no ideas pop in my mind. Curran just jumps into my room and chooses my clothes. And what do you know? Everyone compliments me, everyone is jealous.
Yes it’s totally because I’m gorgeous and not because of the growling Beast Lord that’s standing behind me.
5. Smile like there’s no tomorrow. The last and best, in my humble opinion, reason of all. Carnage! Since I hate almost everyone around me, I tend to get upset a lot. Why? Simple question. Because most of the people I know are idiots. So here I am doing my thing (aka: plotting world domination) when my dear Beast Lord brings me a gift: a severed head. And what do you know? It belongs to the chick who bought the last Nutella I wanted today at the supermarket!
I get bloody when it comes to my Nutella.