Drink Deep (Chicagoland Vampires, #5)

Drink Deep (Chicagoland Vampires, #5)Drink Deep by Chloe Neill
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

~~~ Before I start I should let you know that I made a little “explanation corner” at the bottom of my review. I think I’ll start using this more since I use funky words most people don’t understand. So if you see a “*” or something know what you should go to the bottom of the page blah blah blah you get it, you’re smart kids ~~~

I can’t express how happy I am right now. No no, calm down people, I’m not happy because this book is awesome. I’m happy because I’m finally done with it. My fire needs more stuff to burn so this book will do wonderfully.

How to best describe Drink Deep? Boring, disappointing, skimfest*, filler, you name it. I can’t believe I was so excited over this *facepalm* but how could I have known? Can you blame my naivety? Plus everyone was excited about it and many people gave it high ratings, of course I was bound to fall into this horrible trap. Anyhow, if you don’t want to read more of my review, stop here. Be warned you demons, the bitchiness starts now. Proceed at your own cost!

So let’s start with my problems. One, there is the fact that everyone’s too cool about Ethan dying. Hell even I suffered more than the characters in this damn book. Suffer you bitches!! Your god is gone!! Yes I want to see him come back; yes I like him more than I like Merit. Have a problem with that?

Two, why is Merit not funny anymore? Was she ever funny? I don’t even remember... all I know is that right now she’s one cold-hearted (pun intended) bitch. She’s so excited about Jonah. What the hell? She should be running away from him like he’s the plague! Spit in his face, throw holy water on him, idk**! Something! And then the dude tells her that his feelings are totally platonic and she believes him. Platonic my ass, you can obviously see that he’s drooling over her and is probably mind-raping her as we speak! Her stupidity is beyond judgment…

Three, see image 1.

Four, why does this feel like the story being filled in just to cover a few more books? Oh wait, I have the answer for that. I’ve recently heard that there’s a contract on ten books for this series. Now I don’t know about you but I think that’s a pretty high number considering the series we’re talking about. Chicagoland Vamps isn’t complex enough to hold ten freakin’ books. This is book five and basically it’s total filler so guess what’s in store for us? Utter bullsh*t. *mumbles to herself* ten books pfff…

I actually don’t give a sh*t about the river turning black or the nymphs losing their magic or whatever. I want a relevant story, something that would interest me. This is not cool. That’s why I skimmed 70% of the book. Yes my dear kids, 70-f*cking-percent! Is this not a waste of time in your dictionary?

Five, it was too predictable. I was sure Mallory was responsible for all the creepy stuff going on. I didn’t like this of course, I see it as more filler to the pie. Also, the way Ethan came back wasn’t as dramatic as I thought it would be. I kept on expecting him to disappear and someone to pop up and scream ”April’s fools!” or something. But of course everything went back to normal in about 3 pages or so. *facepalm*

The ending was nice (not great, sadly) but it doesn’t make up for the rest of the book. If I wasn’t curious about Ethan I’d dnf*** this.

*skimfest = a wonderful activity of skimming almost everything
**idk = I don’t know
***dnf = did not finish

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