Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices #2)

 
The Rift Walker (Vampire Empire, #2)

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
Pub­lisher: Margaret K. McElderry Books
Pages: Hardcover, Collector's First Edition, 502 pages
Series: The Infernal Devices
Pub­li­ca­tion date: December 6th 2011


In the magical underworld of Victorian London, Tessa Gray has at last found safety with the Shadowhunters. But that safety proves fleeting when rogue forces in the Clave plot to see her protector, Charlotte, replaced as head of the Institute. If Charlotte loses her position, Tessa will be out on the street—and easy prey for the mysterious Magister, who wants to use Tessa’s powers for his own dark ends. With the help of the handsome, self-destructive Will and the fiercely devoted Jem, Tessa discovers that the Magister’s war on the Shadowhunters is deeply personal. He blames them for a long-ago tragedy that shattered his life. To unravel the secrets of the past, the trio journeys from mist-shrouded Yorkshire to a manor house that holds untold horrors, from the slums of London to an enchanted ballroom where Tessa discovers that the truth of her parentage is more sinister than she had imagined. When they encounter a clockwork demon bearing a warning for Will, they realize that the Magister himself knows their every move—and that one of their own has betrayed them.

Tessa finds her heart drawn more and more to Jem, though her longing for Will, despite his dark moods, continues to unsettle her. But something is changing in Will—the wall he has built around himself is crumbling. Could finding the Magister free Will from his secrets and give Tessa the answers about who she is and what she was born to do?

As their dangerous search for the Magister and the truth leads the friends into peril, Tessa learns that when love and lies are mixed, they can corrupt even the purest heart.

I hated this book (60%), than I liked it (30%), and then I loved it (10%).

The Black:

The most dreadful part of this series is the love triangle (which is, ironically, the most loved as well). I have an honest question, and I geniunely want to know the answer as well: Why do YA authors feel the need to include a love triangle? Why?

Back to Clockwork Prince; the Will-Tessa-Jem love triangle is quite possibly the worst I have ever had the misfortune of coming across.

There are several ways to make a love triangle in YA work:

1. Make the girl extremely easy to love and respect. To the point where it's plain as day why so many guys would find her attractive. [Successful example = Vampire Academy]
2. Make the girl romantically inclined towards one guy, but also seeing the appeal of the second. This works because that's pretty much how the readers will be viewing the love interests as well. [Successful example = Unearthly]
3. Make the girl independent, for Pete's sake! If she isn't as needy, the readers will most probably forgive her indecisiveness to an extent. [Successful example = The Hunger Games]

Needless to say, none of the above is the case here. Tessa is the most ordinary girl in the world, yet these two amazing, extraordinary guys fall instantly in love with her, of all people? And while I don't blame Tessa for being perfectly normal, I do blame Clare for not wooing me with her personality. If she's amazing enough to make two unflappable boys fall for her, why couldn't she make me at least like her? And in all fairness, I'm not a tough person to please.

So please, I beg you, omit the overdone love triangles. The girl will survive even if she doesn't have more than one boy besotted with her. I'm just so sick and tired of all these teenage boys being tormented by their past, those stupid normal girl coming and changing their lives, and everyone living HEA (sure, it hasn't happened yet, but this is YA, so it's practically a given, no?).

The Gray:

1. The plot is extremely unique and hugely entertaining. Pity it only appears after crossing the 300-page mark. All the drama and suspense regarding Mortmain and Benedict is thoroughly captivating, but again, I wish the focus had been more on the plot rather than the clichéd romance.

2. The characters also fit into this category. I like Will well enough, but he doesn't exactly impress me. His entire persona screams, "Been there, known him." In other lives, he's been Jace, Adrian, Patch, etc etc. So I like him, but I don't love him. I certainly won't be gushing about him anytime soon.

Jem barely registers on my radar. He's dull enough to be a side character, but Clare and Tessa are seriously determined about giving him a starring role. He's likable, but how can anyone be so blind? Tessa isn't the most subtle character in the book, and it's almost laughable that he didn't notice her feelings for Will.

And Tessa. Let's just say that the only times I've liked her are when she's quoting a passage, and end it at that.

The White:

1. The love that's usually reserved for main characters in books is devoted to nearly all the side characters in The Infernal Devices. Sophie, Charlotte, Henry, Gideon, are all fascinating characters, but we all know who the main delight is: Magnus Bane. How could I ever express how much I adore this mysterious warlock?

2. The writing is amazing! Clare has a real talent for bringing her story and characters to life. The quotations that appear at the beginning of every chapter also demonstrate how well thought-out and developed her books are. And despite the fact that I didn't enjoy this book all that much, I still can't stop myself from constantly thinking about it. Even if I don't like them, my mind keeps going back to the characters, wondering what problem is going to come up next. That alone says enough about Clare's writing prowess.

Favorite Quotes:

I feel myself diminished, parts of me spiraling away into the darkness, that which is good and honest and true—If you hold it away from yourself long enough, do you lose it entirely? If no one cares for you at all, do you even really exist?

 

Clockwork Prince (The Infernal Devices, #2)

 
The Rift Walker (Vampire Empire, #2)

Clockwork Prince by Cassandra Clare
Pub­lisher: Margaret K. McElderry Books
Pages: Hardcover, Collector's First Edition, 502 pages
Series: The Infernal Devices
Pub­li­ca­tion date: December 6th 2011


In the magical underworld of Victorian London, Tessa Gray has at last found safety with the Shadowhunters. But that safety proves fleeting when rogue forces in the Clave plot to see her protector, Charlotte, replaced as head of the Institute. If Charlotte loses her position, Tessa will be out on the street—and easy prey for the mysterious Magister, who wants to use Tessa’s powers for his own dark ends. With the help of the handsome, self-destructive Will and the fiercely devoted Jem, Tessa discovers that the Magister’s war on the Shadowhunters is deeply personal. He blames them for a long-ago tragedy that shattered his life. To unravel the secrets of the past, the trio journeys from mist-shrouded Yorkshire to a manor house that holds untold horrors, from the slums of London to an enchanted ballroom where Tessa discovers that the truth of her parentage is more sinister than she had imagined. When they encounter a clockwork demon bearing a warning for Will, they realize that the Magister himself knows their every move—and that one of their own has betrayed them.

Tessa finds her heart drawn more and more to Jem, though her longing for Will, despite his dark moods, continues to unsettle her. But something is changing in Will—the wall he has built around himself is crumbling. Could finding the Magister free Will from his secrets and give Tessa the answers about who she is and what she was born to do?

As their dangerous search for the Magister and the truth leads the friends into peril, Tessa learns that when love and lies are mixed, they can corrupt even the purest heart.

Cassandra Clare did it again! She single-handedly managed to bore me to death!

I don’t want to sound like a crybaby (and I will try my best not to) but Clockwork Prince gets the Disappointment Award of 2011. After seeing so many 5-star reviews (I will never learn, will I?) I had so many high hopes. Since it happened with A Monster Calls why wouldn’t it with this one also? Maybe because Patrick Ness is a good author and Cassandra Clare isn’t. I’m just saying.

My expectations weren’t that high by the way. I was just looking for a great adventure filled with good characters, emotional moments and a bit of love. And speaking of love, I was praying not to have a love triangle. But I’ll get to that later.

The beginning of Clockwork Prince is BORIIING! But hey I managed to get through it thinking that it’s just a prologue to the total awesomeness that everyone is talking about.

Guess what?

It isn’t.

The whole f*cking book is boring. Oooor… at least the percentage I managed to finish. I wasn’t skipping pages. Oooooh no, I was skipping chapters. Whole chapters full of useless blabbering. I even failed to identify the damn story. Should I check the summary to find it out or what?

Oooh and wait ‘till you hear this! The bad dude’s parents are dead and he blames it on the Shadowhunters. Not all people dress as bats and fight crime during the night after their parents got killed. Nu-huuuh. They go chasing young girls in order to marry them. In the name of science! That’s just creepy! He wants her for her powers. Bullsh*t, just ask Pedobear why he wants her.



Anyway my point is that this part of the story seems a weeee bit unoriginal. They’re looking for Mortmain for like 25% of the book and all of the sudden Jem gets a sudden, but silly, idea and what do you know? He was right. Next thing you know the damn Joker will be in the book killing people. Not that I would mind it or anything.

And speaking of unoriginal, am I the only one who thinks that this series is too similar to The Mortal Instruments? I know they’re related but it feels like the characters and plot have too many similarities.

But it could be just me.

Or not.

And another problem now.

I simply can’t get myself o like Tessa. I have no idea why and I won’t waste my time even trying to find a reason. I’ll leave it like that. Tessa meh, Jem meh, Will cool when he’s not too emo (obviously Cassandra Clare has a thing for tortured heroes), and Magnus yum when he’s not gay.



The nonexistent story meh, the villain meh.

I want more creepy contraptions running around killing people. I want more blood and suffering. I want less teenage drama. If I wanted teenage drama I’d turn on the TV on Thursdays and watch The Vampire Diaries. So please cut the crap.



And so we reach my final, and worst, problem. The love triangle. Probably every teenage girl’s wet dream is to have two hot guys fight over her. Freakin’ losers. I hate hate HATE love triangles and hate the stupid girls who love them even more. This was the thing that made me stop reading the book and the series as well.

So goodbye The Infernal Devices! Don’t let the door hit you in the ass.

 

Forbidden Magic (Magic #1)


Forbidden Magic (Magic #1)Forbidden Magic by Cheyenne McCray
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Forbidden Magic is another book that will end up in the trash. Or cut into little tiny pieces. Or a pillow for a homeless person.

Why? Good question my friend. Forbidden Magic is similar to playing a RPG game on beginner mode. Everything is just too easy.

Kid: Hey look mom! *wiggles fingers* I just opened a black hole that’s going to eat the planet and kill us all!
Mom: Great work dear. Now come on in, dinner’s getting cold.

In the next moment she ran her hand down in the air before her face, drawing a glamour around herself and disappearing from human sight.

Biting her lower lip in concentration, Silver flicked one finger in the air, sending her magic to do her bidding. In the next second she heard the rusty scrape of metal against wood as the latch unfastened.

Just like watching The Disney Channel. Add the typical lust at first sight and we have a cheesy book!
He was one of the most gorgeous men she'd ever seen. A man who made her heart pound, and fire burn in her blood.



I swear I’ll stop continuing any book that has this lust at first sight crap in it. I’m just sick of it!

Another thing that bothered me is the unoriginality of the story and environment. Everything is typical! It’s a sad boring book. And the author is actually trying her best to add depth to the story. Ooooooh yes, she tries so hard. Information Overflow Achievement unlocked!

I actually couldn’t even skim the book till the end. That’s how sad it is. And disgustingly pornographic.

Before I forget. If any chick (witch or whatever) mentions the word “Goddess” during fear, worry, surprise or awe I will punch the b*tch in the face.

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Lola and the Boy Next Door

   
Lola and the Boy Next Door

     Budding designer Lola Nolan doesn’t believe in fashion . . . she believes in costume. The more expressive the outfit -- more sparkly, more fun, more wild -- the better. But even though Lola’s style is outrageous, she’s a devoted daughter and friend with some big plans for the future. And everything is pretty perfect (right down to her hot rocker boyfriend) until the dreaded Bell twins, Calliope and Cricket, return to the neighborhood.
     When Cricket -- a gifted inventor -- steps out from his twin sister’s shadow and back into Lola’s life, she must finally reconcile a lifetime of feelings for the boy next door.

  Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

***FAVORITE ROMANCE OF 2011***

Note: This does not qualify as a proper review. It is simply me fangirling about my latest only love, Cricket Bell.

If I’m the stars, Cricket Bell is entire galaxies.

This book!! This perfect, wondrous, amazing book! I love it so so much! A quarter of that is because of the story, a quarter because of Lola, and half because of Cricket Graham Bell. He is just so sweet! And innocent, loyal, caring, and downright adorable!! Hell, he's even cuter than this, and I don't say that lightly:



And much as I would love to kidnap take Cricket away from Lola, his love for her is what I love the most about him. The way he pines after her, gets hurt whenever she does, takes care of her, does her hair, just who he is when he's around her makes me wanna cry and gush at the same time.
“So you believe in second chances?” I bite my lip.
“Second, third, fourth. Whatever it takes. However long it takes. If the person is right,” he adds.
“If the person is . . . Lola?”
This time, he holds my gaze. “Only if the other person is Cricket.”

So there. I love this book, I love Cricket, and I love Stephanie Perkins for creating such a sweetheart. And just for the record, the cover fits Lola and Cricket perfectly. I love that, too.



And the first person to tell me the number of times I used the word "love" in this review can help themselves to my personal stash of chocolates.

Favorite Passage:

“Once upon a time, there was a girl who talked to the moon. And she was mysterious and she was perfect, in that way that girls who talk to moons are. In the house next door, there lived a boy. And the boy watched the girl grow more and more perfect, more and more beautiful with each passing year. He watched her watch the moon. And he began to wonder if the moon would help him unravel the mystery of the beautiful girl. So the boy looked into the sky.

But he couldn’t concentrate on the moon. He was too distracted by the stars.

And it didn’t matter how many songs or poems had already been written about them, because whenever he thought about the girl, the stars shone brighter. As if she were the one keeping them illuminated.

One day, the boy had to move away. He couldn’t bring the girl with him, so he brought the stars. When he’d look out his window at night, he would start with one. One star. And the boy would make a wish on it, and the wish would be her name.

At the sound of her name, a second star would appear. And then he’d wish her name again, and the stars would double into four. And four became eight, and eight became sixteen, and so on, in the greatest mathematical equation the universe had ever seen. And by the time an hour had passed, the sky would be filled with so many stars that it would wake his neighbors. People wondered who’d turned on the floodlights.

The boy did. By thinking about the girl."

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Unholy Ghosts (Downside Ghosts, #1)


Unholy Ghosts (Downside Ghosts, #1)Unholy Ghosts by Stacia Kane
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

The most relevant things you need to know about Unholy Ghosts

















A bunch of self-loathing funny talking drug addicts being chased by evil red eyed ghosts in a dirty religionless futuristic city. Nicotine, drugs, ghosts and a freakin’ love triangle. Hip hip hurrah!

This book was very difficult for me to read because of my lack of interest in all of these things. It’s just weird. I actually like weird things, there’s nothing more entertaining than watching a bunch of crazy people wearing their underwear over their heads and acting like The Avengers. Downside Ghosts is weird in an omg wtf kind of way. But people like it so good for them. Me? Meh. Not my kind of series.

Yes that means that I won’t give it a second chance.

No, I won’t change my mind.

Yes, it does suck that much.

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A Monster Calls


A Monster CallsA Monster Calls by Patrick Ness
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The monster showed up just after midnight. As they do.


I‘ve been stalking looking for A Monster Calls for quite a while. All those great reviews got to my head and I was so damn curious to see what all the fuss was about.

And then I finally got the hardcover.

And then I started reading it.

And then holy f*ck mother that is good and shiny. Wtf is this book??? I’m being mindraped. I have no words to express my feelings. I guess this will do









This book looks amazing. It’s actually one of the best looking books I’ve ever seen. The artist is a freakin’ genius! So please, for your sake, don’t you dare buy the version without illustrations! Don’t you freakin’ dare!

Apart from the extra stars that I was going to give A Monster Calls only for its looks we have the heartbreaking story. You would think this is a horror book. I know I did. And I was wrong! It’s actually a very good lesson on human nature and such a wonderful experience. So if you’re a pansy (don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone) you have nothing to fear. You can go ahead and throw all those flashlights and broom handles that were supposed to defend you against the Boogeyman. But get your tissues ready.

Anyway, I’ll try not to ramble or make too many noises. My review ends here. All I have to add is that this book is stunning and buying it was one of the best decisions I’ve made this year. Five stars are not enough for rating it.


Favorite quotes

Who am I? the monster repeated, still roaring. I am the spine that the mountains hang upon! I am the tears that the rivers cry! I am the lungs that breathe the wind! I am the wolf that kills the stag, the hawk that kills the mouse, the spider that kills the fly! I am the stag, the mouse and the fly that are eaten! I am the snake of the world devouring its tail! I am everything untamed and untameable! It brought Conor up close to its eye. I am this wild earth, come for you, Conor O’Malley.


Stories are wild creatures, the monster said. When you let them loose, who knows what havoc they might wreak?


“What did you do to help the invisible man?” And he felt the monster’s voice again, like it was in his own head. I made them see, it said.


As incredible as it seemed, time kept moving forward for the rest of the world. The rest of the world that wasn’t waiting.


You do not write your life with words, the monster said. You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you do.



Personal notes

I finally bought this! Thank you stupid cafe in Cairo for not having a bathroom and making me use the one at the wonderful bookshop I stopped by!

Ooh how I love the monster. Why can’t I get a visit from one? Only mine should be eleven stories tall and it would probably be a palm tree.

Must...not...cry...



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10,000 Zombies: Create More than 10,000 Zombies and 10,000 Stories


10,000 Zombies: Create More than 10,000 Zombies and 10,000 Stories10,000 Zombies: Create More than 10,000 Zombies and 10,000 Stories by Alexander Cox
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I’d like to thank my wonderful fiancĂ© for giving me this book as a gift. It is AMAZING. The stories are not the most interesting things on the surface of the planet but the artwork is badass. I’m a big fan of David Hartman and I have to say that I wasn’t disappointed. Plus a foreword by Rob Zombie. Rob-freakin’-Zombie! Big fan of him also. See how easy I am to buy? Goddammit!

I’m doing the next thing for the people who don’t know how the book goes.

So you have a page divided (and I mean divided as in cut into pieces) into three parts



Which can be combined endlessly!



So much fun! It makes me feel like I’m a kid again. But better because I’m playing with zombies! I’m a mad scientist!



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