Everyone's life is governed by an internal code of conduct. Some call it morality. Others call it religion. But Bros in the know call this holy grail the Bro Code.
Historically a spoken tradition passed from one generation to the next, the official code of conduct for Bros appears here in its published form for the first time ever. By upholding the tenets of this sacred and legendary document, any dude can learn to achieve Bro-dom.
Yeah I know I know I’m not a Bro so I shouldn’t be reading this… but guess what? I don’t actually care and I already read it so tough luck!
I’ve been a fan of How I met You Mother for years. Lately the show kinda sucks but Barney is still my favorite and he just kicks ass! When I saw that they actually published the Bro Code I thought I must have it! For all of you fans out there: get it! For all of you chicks out there: if you have a sense of humor, you think like a guy and you’re not offended by jokes related to boobs, blondes, hos etc. then I say get it! It’s one of the funniest books I’ve read in a very long time and I enjoyed every minute of it. Even though it was a short read…
Now there were many epic moments throughout the book. If I could post them all I would actually copy paste all the book and done. Soooo I said I’ll just post the funny stuff I loved the most. Get ready to fall off your chair in…. three… two… one….
And of course, being the math geek that I am, I loved the formulas! Why do I like formulas?!?! Tell me God!!!
And in the end some articles that I found hilarious:
Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness, his fellow Bros will not make lame jokes such as “Gimme three!” or “Wow, quitting your job like that really took a lot of ball.” It’s still a high five and that Bro still has a lot of balls…metaphorically speaking, of course.
A Bro never cries.
EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.
In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. If both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought the last round of drinks has dibs. If they haven’t purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two Bros has dibs. If they’re the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs, provided the chick is still there.
* Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.
If a Bro must crash on his Bro’s couch for an extended period of time, he shall offer to split the cost of toilet paper and the cable bill if said period exceeds two weeks. If he stays longer than a month, he shall offer to contribute some rent. If he stays longer than two months, he shall steam clean the couch or have it incinerated, whichever is more applicable.
B-t-dub this may be a self-help book for some dudes. I know many that actually need it. We should set up points throughout the world where we offer the Bro Code for free. Just like condoms for kids… uhm… Teens…. Ugh I dunno! People who wanna have sex! There!
And that’s it for the moment. Get the book for more. I’m so damn proud of myself for reading this. I’m all bro-ed up now. Gotta get myself a wingman and go hunting.
I’m sorry…. Didn’t mean to be rude…. You’re not b*tches…. You’re good people…. God bless you all.
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